I’m so excited, I can’t sleep. I did something a little bad. Have you heard of a site called Seeking Arrangement? It’s a website for sugar daddies to find sugar babies. It’s always in the news. So much so that curiosity got the better of me and I signed up. I think we may have to call me Harriet Sugar Daddy; my sugar baby arrives later today!
Seeking Arrangement is an interesting website. It’s a way for sugar daddies to find Sugar babies and enter a relationship that includes an financial allowance or gifts, what they call an arrangement.
It’s controversial, some people describe it as middle class escorting or say that it’s a way for older men to take advantage of students overburdened with debt.
Their motto is that it’s a way of having a relationship on your own terms which is the more positive way of looking at it. Although that does make finding a girlfriend sound a bit like going to the supermarket. I’m not sure how well that sits with me.
Give me some sugar baby
Seeking Arrangement say there is more in it for sugar babies than money alone. They also get to date more experienced men that leave the dating games alone. I’m not sure what they mean by this exactly or how they know this is true of their members.
But they also say it’s a good place to find a mentor and to be pampered. These are much more interesting to me and something I didn’t think of.
Obviously the site caters to wealthy men and it makes a lot of sense that if you are a smart, young goal-orientated girl then this site could be an awesome shortcut to finding contacts that could help you with your ambitions.
And of course every girl loves to be spoiled and pampered. I guess I figured that because there is a financial arrangement involved that you wouldn’t get all the thoughtful little gestures that make real life relationships so good.
Now it’s spelled out to me it makes sense that you would be pampered. If you’re dating a rich guy of course, holidays and gifts are going to be more plentiful and luxurious.
Oh Sugar Daddy
If you never get replies or matches on other dating sites or Tinder then this maybe the site for you. Seeking Arrangement claim to have four sugar babies for every sugar daddy.
They also describe sugar daddy relationships as having no strings attached, perfect if you’re too busy to date; and they say arrangements are more honest and upfront, which makes sense as you are basically creating a contract before you start a relationship so you both know all your expectations before starting.
Finding a sugar baby
I decided to join Seeking Arrangement to see if it really works. I actually created a guys profile. There was an option to be a sugar mommy but that description just didn’t quite sound like me so Harriet Sugar Daddy it is.
I also wasn’t sure how many girls would be interested in girls. Whenever I’ve tried finding girls on straight dating sites it’s been really difficult. So I cheekily created a couples profile using some of my cameraman’s photos.
“Can I afford this?” he asked when I told him what I was doing. “I’m really not a rich person and sugar daddies are supposed to be rich. And I’m not old!”
He was a bit embarrassed when I listed him on the site. He enjoys dating and has reasonable success with women. He feels that being a sugar daddy sounds a bit desperate somehow and he hoped no one saw him on our profile.
He also felt like an imposter. My cameraman is pretty much middle class but is far from being rich. He really didn’t want us to sign up when he saw the membership fee of $80 per month as it’s not something he feels he would want to spend on a dating site. It was interesting to hear those reservations from him.
The sugar babes
So I created out profile, paid my money and wrote a realistic sounding description where I explained who we both are, what we like and that we’re looking for an arrangement with a girl that can also help us through this process as we’re so new to all this.
As I started browsing through the profiles my first impressions were that this site seems too good to be true. Nearly ever photo was of an intimidatingly beautiful girl. Most were under 30 and those that were over 30 were stunning, elegant MILF types.
Clicking into some random profiles and reading descriptions I was blown away. These were not pretty airheads at all. Most were very intelligent, refined, cultured and sophisticated. Most profiles were very well written.
“This can’t be real. These must be fake profiles. This is a scam, isn’t it?” says my cameraman as we read through.
So I pick out and send messages to some profiles we both like, including some who seem like they’re straight off the pages of Vogue.
We didn’t get any response at first and went to sleep a little disappointed. However once we woke up we were greeted with a deluge of messages. Every girl we messaged had responded and we had so many messages from girls we had not even approached.
OK so some of the girls we contacted said that they weren’t interested in girls but they thought we sounded like nice people. One even wants to meet us just to hang out.
Another is poly-amorous and has her own fetish website where she helps people new to the fetish scene to explore. We’ve talked and she may even start contributing to my site.
I really enjoyed chatting with the girls on Seeking Arrangement. The process seems to be that you get to know each other a little. And then discuss what arrangement you would like (or can afford!) and see if you can agree something.
Some of the girls there wanted to talk about money before really getting to know us. Personally I found this a bit off putting. I wouldn’t want to be a sugar daddy to someone that just wanted to talk about money without getting to know me first.
Mostly I had extremely interesting conversations with such a diverse group of girls. And I feel I have a really strong connection with three of them.
They seem so exciting to me in different ways. I discussed what arrangement each would like and it was very consistent. It seems most girls on the site see having their rent and bills paying as a fair arrangement.
From the girls I’ve spoken to it seems that for most arrangements are quite fluid and often overlap a little. If you’re a possessive person the site is probably not for you.
Meeting my sugar baby
Out of the three girls I’m dying to meet, one stands out a little more than the others. Her name is Yumi. She’s a fashion model of mixed Asian heritage.
Yumi is tall, beautiful, open-minded and we have a lot in common. She’s a little younger than me. She’s never been with a girl but she’s interested in me too. My cameraman also gets on well with her.
Like many girls on Seeking Arrangement, Yumi is a student and wants to have a more luxurious lifestyle while she completes her studies.
Yumi and I decided to come to an arrangement where I will be her sugar daddy. I think it’s unfair to say what we agreed each month. But we have agreed that I would like to see her for occasional weekends away and several times a month as a kind of girlfriend.
We are meeting for the first time a little later today which is why I can’t sleep and I’m writing this blog.
I can’t wait! I’m so excited. I’m in Budapest waiting for her plane to arrive. Yumi wanted to meet in Budapest as she’s always wanted to visit.
Oh and do you want to know the coolest part? Yumi really likes being in front of the camera and she has agreed to let me film our first weekend together. All of it. Even the most intimate parts.
I hope we get on as well in person as we do over the phone. And I hope she likes me too. Even though it’s an arrangement it feels important that Yumi likes me back. My cameraman feels the same way. He says he would feel uncomfortable if he felt she was only seeing us for money.
Over the next few days I will try to blog and tweet how my date goes. I’d love to hear from you in the comments if you’ve had any experience with being a sugar daddy. How was it for you? Can you give me any tips?