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Dating multiple people at once might seem like a dream scenario, but it’s not the simplest thing to try and do. Not only are emotions connected when balancing two or more people, but those other partners need to be aware of your polyamorous relationships, which can cause a lot of jealousy, confusion and communication problems.

As difficult as dating multiple people might be, for some, it’s the preferred way of dating, with many people just lacking the commitment needed to choose one person. That’s fine, when done right — but that’s where some drama can come into play.

That’s why we’re breaking down all the things you need to know about dating multiple people at once, giving you some thoughts on the pros and cons. In the end, if you’re happy, that’s all that matters, so you do you.

Pro: More options

Of course, this is the first pro of dating multiple people, because that’s probably the reason you’re doing it in the first place. Rather than “settling” for a person who checks off a bunch of boxes, but not all of them, you can continue to look until you find that exact person who satisfies all your needs. That journey can be a fun one, so enjoy doing it.

Con: More options means lack of commitment

While weighing your multiple options can be fun, it can lead to lack of commitment once you finally do find the person you should probably be with. Just the other day we wrote about how dating shouldn’t be like window shopping, where you’re in a constant state of flux, going back and forth with who you spend time with. Sometimes, the grass isn’t always greener, and it’s better to focus on one person than constantly be looking for something better.

Pro: Meeting new people and being yourself

If you’re an extrovert who likes being around and meeting new people, then dating around is a perfect medium for you, as you get to do both without much consequence. How far you and those people take things is up to you, as you need to balance how much attention you give each so not to manipulate or lead them on. However, when you do things the right way, dating multiple people allows you to be yourself and rediscover a lot of strengths and weaknesses, which can, ultimately, lead to better relationships.

Con: You recycle relationships

Dating is cyclical. Just when you think you’re on top of the world and balancing multiple girls at once, things abruptly end with a few of them and you’re left focusing on either one or, worse, none. When that happens, you find yourself being a little desperate for the attention that you once had, texting old flings to meet up and trying to rekindle the relationship or, if we’re being honest, have sex. It’s an insecure move we’ve all been guilty of doing, so don’t think you’re alone when it happens.

Pro: Lower stress (when handled correctly)

If you allow things to stay casual, your stress levels can stay lower because you’re not worrying about just one other person’s happiness. It’s no secret that relationships are hard, so, when dating multiple people, you’re getting a little something different from each girl. For instance, one girl may be more outgoing and fun, but lack the maturity you’re looking for in a girlfriend. Another one may match your sexual energy and be great in bed, but she’s a dud to speak to. This is satisfying different needs for you, which is keeping your mind at ease.

Con: Awkward conversations and distractions

At some point, you’ll need to make a decision about what you want when you’re dating multiple people at once. Do you want to fully commit to just one and see where it goes, or do you want to cut things off and stay single to play the field? There’s no right or wrong answer, as it’s whatever you think will make you happy. However, we all know that defining the relationship can be tricky, so be prepared for the fallout afterwards, because there’s a good chance the girl(s) will not be too fond of you.

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