When meeting up with a girl for the first time, it’s always awesome when things go great, there’s lots of laughing and flirting, and it ends with the possibility of you two going home together. That last part can be tricky, though, because sex on a first date is good for the ego, but is it good for any future relationship?
That’s a question that we’ve found ourselves asking ourselves (and friends) in recent years, as, more and more times, sex on a first date often leads to a skewed reality. That can be a good thing if both people are just looking for a one night stand or friend with benefit, but it can be trickier if one person (or both people) want something more real.
For those who aren’t sure if sex on a first date is a good or bad idea, we offer up some things to consider before jumping into the sack and getting down and dirty with someone you’ve known for a few hours.
It’s fully consented by both parties
Obviously, the very first thing you should consider when it comes to sex on a first date is if both people consent to such activities. It’s one thing for a girl to throw out flirtatious lines and hints, it’s another for her to go home with you and be comfortable enough to have sex. Most girls don’t like the label of sleeping with someone they just met, so don’t assume that, just because she’s showing signs of being into you, that she’s ready to go have sex.
It’s clear you’re both not looking for anything serious
We all know first dates are tricky, and can be awkward, which is why they’re often tough to figure out. This is especially true when one person is looking for a partner for a relationship, while the other is just looking for someone hot to hook up with. If, during the first date, it’s clear that both people are just here to meet up and have fun without expectations, it’s not a bad thing if it leads to sex by the end of the night. This is instinctual, and your gut (and brain) should trigger signs to look for. Throw out some suggestions of things to do after grabbing drinks or dinner that might be more intimate, if she agrees to those, you’re probably setting yourself up for a night of sex.
You don’t feel bad the next day
One-night stands with a girl you met while both obliterated at a bar are one thing, but having sex on a first date can lead to some strange feelings. One might be guilt, wondering if the girl is now looking for something more than just a fuck buddy. Another one might be lack of respect, though, as she may want to keep hanging out with you and see where things go, but you’ve already set the expectation that things are just going to be physical. If these are the case, it might be best to avoid sex on a first date altogether.
You know that one-time sex is all the relationship will be
Along the same lines as the last point, if you get a sense that she’s totally OK having sex because that’s all she’s looking for, you should just go with it. There are plenty of reasons why girls are open to something like this — she may be getting out of a relationship and looking for fun, or just really likes how you look and wants to brag to her friends about it. Rather than complicate things and think you need to do anything more after having sex on a first date with her, just accept it for what it is, avoid drama afterwards and don’t try to change her intentions of anything more.