If you’re not sure how to find love, here’s something that can give you some optimism: it’s a brand new year, meaning you can make some changes to help you land the girl of your dreams. No, just because the calendar moved from 2018 to 2019 doesn’t mean it’s guaranteed that you’ll find a relationship, but it can be a start towards a new you.
Since so many guys (and girls) aren’t sure how find love in general, we figured that a new year is a good reason to at least try on ways to do so. Hey, if you’re single at this point — guilty — why not do something differently, right? Whatever you’ve been doing up to this point doesn’t seem to be working, so this whole new year, new you thing might be worth giving a shot.
There are a bunch of things that guys can do to help them find love in 2019, and a lot of them aren’t going to require much work at all. However, you will need to be honest with yourself about what changes you can make, which ones you actually want to make, set your priorities without lowering your standards and then go out there and find the girl who’s right for you.
As always, we want to see you succeed at this crazy dating thing, so, rather than struggle with how to find love, take some of these tips to become the best version of yourself in 2019, which will certainly get the attention of girls all over the place. Happy hunting, fellas.
Want to know how to find love? Work on yourself first
You know the old adage, “you can’t love someone else until you love yourself?” Well, unfortunately, it’s actually true, meaning you’ve got to look at yourself in the mirror to figure out what it is exactly about yourself that you need to either change or just accept before you find love — and be honest with yourself.
Self-evaluation isn’t a skill a lot of people are good at, as it can be hard to tell yourself the truth about yourself, admitting faults. That said, once you get over the fear of doing it, you’ll not only feel a bit more liberated, but you’ll take a giant step forward in improving yourself, which means you won’t have to wonder how to find love — nor will you put so much pressure on yourself to do so.
Understanding that nobody’s perfect is the first step in self-evaluation, and then admitting, accepting and changing any of those weaknesses you might have. From being a bad communicator to being scared of rejection and, finally, to having a jealous streak, identify the problem and start working on them right now. Once you do so, the girl of your dreams may not be too far away.
How are you approaching girls?
If you’re coming across as too desperate or too aggressive, guess what, girls are going to pick up on that. Likewise, if you’re just not good at dating, figure out what it is you’re doing wrong and see if it’s something you can change.
For example, you might find that the girls you’ve dated in the past always seem to be superficial, only caring about how much money you make, how they look and some sort of status that will impress their friends or strangers on social media. Rather than go for that type of girl, step back and see what you value in a relationship and in a girlfriend, which will help you identify the type of girl you’ll want next.
Additionally, if you find that you’re only picking up girls while drunk at a bar, you need to gain a bit more confidence when sober to introduce yourself to someone, rather than relying on “liquid courage.” You’ll find that the first impression for both you and the girl will be much better, and there will be a realistic opportunity to get to know one another rather than drunkenly spewing off things over a loud bar.
Are you putting all your eggs in one basket?
We’re not saying that online dating apps are a bad thing, but if you’re only using them to try and find love, guess what, you’re limiting your opportunities. Sure, sites like Tinder and Bumble, among others, can be great to find a few girls and get a few flirty conversations going, but it’s not the only way.
To help alleviate the potential problem of only using online dating apps to meet girls, set guidelines if/when using them — and stick to it! Whether that means only using it twice a week, or using an online dating app for 20 minutes each day, find the right balance so your eyes are looking up for real-life possibilities instead of looking down to swipe.
Online dating apps can be a crutch to gain confidence and meet some great girls, but relying on them too much isn’t good for your mental health, dating prospects or communication skills. Remember, you need to know how to talk to a girl once you match and meet up with her, too, guys.
Don’t be afraid to fail when trying to find love
Nobody wants to fail, but, guess what, every single guy does it — yep, even someone like Tom Brady once did. One of the biggest things that guys think to themselves is that a girl is too good for him, convincing himself that she’s out of his league. There’s no such thing, and you need to truly understand that to believe it.
Sure, there may be girls who look like Instagram models and, seemingly, could have any guy she wants, but she’s struggling with something just like everyone else is, so don’t be afraid to shoot your shot. At the worst, she says she’s not interested. Thing is, you’ll never know unless you try.
And for those guys who might be holding onto hurt feelings from a previous breakup, here’s a reminder for you: not all girls are the same. Just because your ex ended things and told you how bad of a person you were doesn’t mean the next girl you see will think the same. Some guys refuse to let go of past failures, and, if they do, they’re all but defeated when it comes to finding love in the future.
Try new activities to meet a new batch of girls
With it being the new year, it’s time to make yourself better in a lot of ways. Most people decide to join a gym and get in shape, while others take the month of January off from drinking or pledge to themselves a bunch of goals they’ll want to accomplish throughout the year 2019. But why wait?
Doing something new in January is just as great as doing something new later this year, so start accomplishing those goals earlier than later. And, for those wondering how to find love, there’s no better thing to do than put yourself out there by trying a new activity.
This could mean finally joining a sports league, or volunteering with a youth group, or trying a new hobby that will get you around a new batch of girls. As mentioned above, if you’re just trying your luck at bars or by swiping on online dating apps, you’re limiting your options. So figure out what interests you, start trying them, have fun and, just maybe, see if your next girlfriend happens to be doing the same thing, too.