I actually visited The Heart Attack Grill on my last night of Vegas, and I may have mentioned it briefly in my first American Road Trip blog. The HAG however deserves it’s own blog post, firstly because it’s about a world record holding burger and second because it was my favourite meal on my entire trip.
The Heart Attack Grill was recommended to me several times before I even landed stateside, and a quick google search will show you boundless news articles on this notorious establishment. With a great marketing strategy, The Heart Attack Grill bears the slogan “Help us fight Anorexia!”
Pretty much everything about this restaurant is controversial. They hold the world record for highest calorie burger, highest calorie milkshake and they serve alcohol shots in a syringe shaped as a penis. If you’re over 350lbs you can eat for free. Their waitresses are dressed provocatively as nurses, they sell cigarettes on their menu and wine comes in IV bags. To top it all off, if you don’t finish your meal you can be spanked, in the middle of the restaurant, by a nurse or doctor, whilst being filmed and then published online.
Honestly speaking, that sounds like heaven to me. I think there’s a big element of novelty to the concept, and they aim to be controversial, but they’re also very honest and upfront with just how bad their food items are. Whilst a lot of eateries these days are promoting healthy eating and have “slim” menu options, The Heart Attack Grill has stayed true and simple to their indulgent menu.
I found the themed restaurant very fun. Inside it’s decked out like an American diner, which in itself is a novelty for me. However amongst normal tables there are giant medical equipment, such as a huge bottle of “prescription medicine” or a giant syringe. All customers must don a hospital gown before entering and wear them for the duration of the stay.
I sat down and managed to spend a solid 8 minutes deciding what to eat, despite the menu being very limited. Although I knew I was over ordering, I couldn’t not order the record holding Quadruple Bypass Burger which counts in at over 9000 calories. I may have made some dragonball references before eating…
To go with my giant burger, which holds 20 slices of bacon, I ordered the chilli cheese fries and a chilli dog. I wanted to get a milkshake but decided to be healthy with water instead. I’ll be honest, I simply could not stomach the idea of an all butter shake. I would have ordered the wine IV bag for the novelty but I’m not allowed alcohol in America.
The nurse was very sexy by the way. I thought the outfits would look tacky but they were just right, and she had a voice like Tallulah from Bugsy Malone which opened up a whole bunch of fantasies for me alone. The Doctor was also very good looking, and overall, I think the entire place pulled off the perfect balance of fun, tacky, novelty but awesome.
The food came out fairly quickly. The burger? It’s huge. It’s not even the biggest size they offer but it was huge. I knew straight away I wouldn’t even get through half of it, but it was probably one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever laid my eyes on. I felt like the entire meal was glowing gold and I could almost hear the cherubs singing around it.
The chilli dog on the other hand looked fairly normal and didn’t glow nor sing. The chilli cheese fries smelt amazing but I couldn’t stop calling them chilli cheese chips in my head. My water was fine as well. But honestly, nothing could have beaten the beauty that was my giant, 20 slices of bacon burger.
The moment of truth however obviously comes down to the taste. The verdict? I would come here again, and I would drag along all of my friends, family and especially enemies. The burger was delicious. The patties were perhaps dryer than I normally eat, but they were throughly cooked through which I’ve noticed a lot of American burgers are. They were well seasoned though, and the onions that came with them were sweet with a bit of kick.
I couldn’t fit the entire burger in my mouth of course, instead I used my fork to take chunks at a time. The bacon slices I just picked up with my hands. Crispy, fatty, salty slices of bacon the way bacon is meant to be. Something I will probably never find in England. The bread was solid and firm, a nice change to the currently popular brioche bun in Europe and the most common Pretzel bun in America. The special sauce was good, although nothing extra special compared to other special sauces.
The chilli cheese dog came as a disappointment to me. I hadn’t actually ordered it, instead it was my camera guy, but I ate some of it all the same. It was a normal hot dog and I found that the chilli wasn’t particularly spicy. It was also a little too greasy for me, which seems silly to say considering the place I was eating it in. Camera Guy however really loved it and almost managed to finish it all.
The Chilli Cheese Fries are on the opposite end of the spectrum. I can put my hand on my heart and say they were probably one of the most delicious dishes I’ve ever eaten in my entire life. I had withdrawal symptoms for the rest of the trip, craving to go back and get some more.
They are deep fried in pure lard, and the size/crunch ratio was perfect. Crunchy outside, soft potato inside, packed full of meaty, carby flavour. The cheese worked well, and the chilli added solid meat to the whole thing, something I would never complain about. I did ask for hot sauce however and The Heart Attack Grill offers 21 different levels of hot sauce. I got high end medium one, I think it was around 15, and I also got the 20 which uses ghost pepper.
I only put the hot sauce on a small section of the fries and it was nice to alternate between the spicy ones and the not spicy ones. The ghost chillis however were too spicy for me, but fun to try out. I ate half the fries, but I know next time I go back, I’ll probably order a single burger with two lots of fries. Or maybe I’ll just order my weight’s worth in fries and be done with it.
Out of 100, I rate the heart attack grill at 93. That’s an insanely high score but I think it deserves it. It delivered everything that it promised, it was a fun night out, the atmosphere was great and I was spanked which you can watch here.
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