What should I do if my friends hate my girlfriend?

What should I do if my friends hate my girlfriend? It’s surprising just how often this problem crops up, in fact, I would say almost everyone at some point in their lives have had a partner their friends hated. But what exactly do you can you do about it? 

There’s no hard and fast solution to this question. It all depends on the individual circumstances. Sometimes it can be a really small reason that your friends hate your girlfriend, that can be easily remedied. Sometimes it’s a big red flag shouting “You should not be with this person!”

So first thing you need to do is find out why your friends hate your girlfriend. You might feel embarrassed having to bring the subject up, after all these are your mates and we’re talking about a girl you chose. But friends want to help each other and shouldn’t be afraid of opening up and talking. After all, you know they hate her, they know they hate her, so why try to pretend otherwise?

Situations where it could be fixed – There are lots of situations where the problem is small and easily fixable. For instance, maybe they really dislike her political views and she’s a bit to open about them. You can just discreetly make sure the topic of politics doesn’t come up.

Maybe they hate her hobbies that she won’t stop showing off to everyone (“Look guys, I knitted you a fridge cosy!”) and in that situation you could just make sure that there are plenty of other subjects or activities happening when your girlfriend and friends are together.

Maybe they think the way she eats ramen noodles is super weird, or maybe they think she’s too loud/quiet around them, or maybe she complains about them leaving the toilet seat up too much. All of these situations you can fix because they’re small, and maybe you just need to talk to your friends and find out why such a small thing would bother them so much. Sometimes when you have a new partner, your friends can feel jealous towards them, or worried that your going to be “taken away” by them.

But deciding if the reason is small and fixable, or not, is the first step. There are a lot of signs that could be taken as red flags, indications that this girl is not the one for you. Your friends have been your friends for a long time after all, trusting their opinions can be very important, especially in situations where you’re not thinking with your head.

Examples would be like if they thought she had a controlling personality. Does she constantly tell you how to do things, and corrects every little thing you do as if she were your teacher or mother? This can be seen much more obviously by onlookers than by the victim, and you should never be with someone that wants to change you completely into something they deem you should be.

Do they think she talks bad about everyone? Some girls can be bitchy, like Mean Girl levels of it. It’s ok to complain to your partner occasionally about that jerk from the office who never washes his cup, but if she’s complaining about everyone all the time when they’re not there, then there’s a good chance she’s also complaining about you when you’re not there.

Do they genuinely think she’s a psychotic person? Some girls are crazy. I’ve had a friend who dated a girl who had crazy eyes and looked like she might stab me if I sat within 2 feet of him. Those are the possessive clingy types, often controlling, who will slowly but surely cut you off from your friends until you’re almost completely dependent on them for social interaction. Those are girls you should run away from, and your friends should definitely tell you about.

But at the end of the day, only you can really decide how you feel about your girlfriend. Don’t avoid the topic with your friends, instead talk about it and see if you can understand it from their perspective. You can also try and explain things to them from your perspective, and you can also talk to your girlfriend about things too. Communication is key, and trust that your friends will understand and help you be happy.