There are a few times in our lives when we date someone who we think is totally out of our league. They’re so hot, we can’t help but feel a little insecure about it. Everyone can see we’re punching above our weight. How do you even date someone who deserves to be dating some billionaire model/surgeon?
First of all, how do you even get a girl that’s a 10/10? Most people would think this is the hardest part. And it can be. But mostly it’s the same way you get any girl. You meet someone, you get to know them, you ask them out. There’s no special rule for attracting a super hot girl vs a normal hot girl. You don’t have to do anything different.
Now when you do land yourself an uber amazing girlfriend, you might feel like you don’t deserve it. You might feel insecure and unworthy and get paranoid or anxious. This is actually really common, and it doesn’t just apply to dating. Some people experience imposter syndrome. So when that happens, there are a few things you need to remember.
Don’t put yourself down
Yes, your girlfriend might be the best thing since sliced bread. But that doesn’t mean you’re not a catch yourself. The fact is, she chose to be with you. There’s something about you that made her want to be with you. She’s smart enough to know what she wants. You need to trust that she’s a smart person capable of picking her own partner.
It’s easy to list all the things about your amazing girlfriend that makes her amazing. It’s then easy to compare yourself to that list and think “I’m not that special” and it’s easy to start feeling insecure about yourself. But you can’t put such high expectations on yourself.
You’re not Superman, but she doesn’t want Superman anyway. You may not have the same qualities as she does, but you have your own qualities that she probably sees that you don’t.
Besides comparing yourself to her, you don’t need to compare yourself to other guys either. There will always be better-looking people than you. Or fitter people. And smarter people. But that doesn’t mean that they are better than you. Or rather, it doesn’t mean that they are better for her than you are.
Don’t get paranoid
It’s really easy to get paranoid when you are dating someone who you think is out of your league. Because you put them on such a high pedestal, and yourself on such a low one, it’s easy to believe that they might leave you at any moment.
You can get jealous really easily. Maybe you notice guys she flirts with or a guy friend she seems to text just a little too often. Nearly every time, it’s this sort of paranoia that’s the problem in a relationship.
Here’s a hypothetical situation. Person A is dating person B who is really hot. Person A can not believe their luck. It goes really well. Except they think at any moment now person B might find someone way better than them. In fact, now that person A thinks about it, person B has been spending a lot of time with person C. Person A starts accusing person B or cheating on them with person C. It causes a rift in their relationship. In the end, person B is so upset, they end up going to person C for comfort and person A loses to person C.
This actually happens a fair number of times. Your paranoia could be the thing that drives your partner away.
Communicate
At the end of the day, the most important part of any relationship is communication. It can be tough to tell someone your insecurties, especially if they sound dumb to you. But if you’re feeling troubled over something, it’s important to let your partner understand.
You don’t have to give the full gory details, such as “Hey I get insanely jealous and I think you’re going to leave me because you’re way out of my league.” But there are other ways of communicating how you feel.
Try and figure out what you want from the relationship. What could happen in your relationship that will make you feel more secure? Work towards achieving that together with your partner.
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