We’ve gone over the good and the bad when it comes to girlfriend gift giving. But we haven’t looked into the money aspect. Splurging out on an extravagant gift for a loved one is actually a lot tougher than many realise. Here’s how you buy an expensive gift for your girlfriend.

Before jumping in the deep end with gifts, you need to decide if it’s an appropriate time. Gift giving is a subtle art many fail at. You might think that getting an expensive gift is a slam dunk because after all, expensive things must be good right?

Wrong. Expensive does not equal good. One huge mistake people make when giving luxurious or extravagant items is picking the wrong time. It doesn’t matter what you buy, if you get it at the wrong time, it can set your relationship back or even ruin it.

So what makes it an appropriate or inappropriate time? First, how long have you been dating? If you’re only two weeks in, spending big bucks on a gift is a big no-no. Getting your brand new girlfriend an expensive gift can have lots of adverse effects.

For instance, it might come on too serious. Receiving an expensive gift can make you feel pressured. “Oh no, we’ve only just started dating and he’s already doing something like this!” Not to mention she might feel she needs to get you something equally expensive in return.

Expensive gifts, like any gifts, should have thought put into it. Investing that much money into something you might not have invested much time into is really difficult and it’s much more likely you’ll do it wrong.

Another thing about extravagant gifts is that if you give them too often they lose their specialness. They become the norm. You’re spending more money but not getting a worthwhile reaction. For instance, getting a beautiful necklace for your anniversary means a lot more than receiving new jewellery every two weeks.

Make sure you can afford it

When we really like someone, it’s normal to want to get them something special. A big expensive gift for your girlfriend might be a way to show her how much you care, but don’t do it unless you can afford it.

Spending too much on a gift can lead to a lot of problems. Don’t feel tempted to use up credit cards or take out a loan, because honestly speaking, no gift is worth that.

But that doesn’t mean expensive gift giving is only for the rich. Rather, if there’s something you would really like to get your special someone, you can plan ahead and save for it. Get into a habit of saving up your leftover change or simply putting away $10 every now and then.

When considering just how much to spend, think about it in terms of “will I be in financial trouble after buying this?”. That means will you be able to pay rent, bills and food costs. You can sacrafice and eat instant noodles for while, but you can’t get to the point where you wouldn’t even be able to buy groceries.

Put thought into it

The best gifts, no matter what the price range, are those that you’ve put thought into. Too many people fall into the trap of thinking just because something is expensive, it’ll be an amazing present.

That’s not to say you can’t buy expensive gifts. But really consider if it’s something she really wants. It’ll also be terrible if you buy her something that cost you a pretty penny only to have her not realise it’s significance.

An example of this might gadgets. Say you’re into gadgets, you know this brand new drone is the top of its line, has amazing features and a beautiful design. Well if she’s not into drones, flying things or cameras, she’s not going to have much use for it. Instead, she’s going to have a drone in her closet she has no idea what to do with.

Another example is if you save up and get her a luxurious designer bag. Guys think all girls love designer bags after all women’s magazines and celebrities are always showing them off. But if you’re girlfriend doesn’t care about bags or designer labels, she’s not going to care about this gift.

You should be putting as much, if not more, thought into it as you are dollars.

She doesn’t owe you anything

Some people think that if they spend a lot of money on someone, that person owes them something. This is a completely wrong way to think. Under no circumstances should you think that just because a lot of money was spent, you need to get something, such as sex, in return.

Relationships shouldn’t be that sort of transactional. Of course, when you put time, effort and money into someone you hope to get the same level of involvement from them. That’s kind of how relationships work. The key here is the expectation of it. Yes, it would be nice if you get something back, but that doesn’t mean you automatically get something back.

You should definitely, 100%, absolutely not pressure or guilt a girl into doing something with you just because you’ve spent a lot of money on her. Sure you might think it’s unfair if she doesn’t do anything. You might even consider that she’s cheated you, or played you. That’s ok to think. In that case, you can leave her and find someone who is better for you.

But you shouldn’t get angry, abusive or violent towards her. For most people, this goes without saying. Sadly, however, it’s not an uncommon story and we all need to remember to just be decent people.

Think outside the box

There are lots of different types of expensive gifts for your girlfriend. You have so many options to play around with if you’re happy and ready to be dropping some big ones.

Classic luxurious gifts such as jewellery are classic because they’re popular. It’s very hard to go wrong with that option. Watches for the same reason.

But you can also get gifts that you can do together. Why not look into booking a surprise trip? Go on a romantic getaway to a beautiful island or resort. Take her on an adventure in a luxury cabin in the mountains. Spoil yourselves with a spa package!

If you don’t want to take too much time away, why not organise a super romantic evening. Find a 5-star hotel with an amazing restaurant, dress up and take her out. Then rather than going home you can take her up to a beautiful room you’ve booked with flowers and a bubble bath waiting.