Have you ever been in that situation where you’ve started dating someone, and you want it to work out so bad – but something just feels off? The fact is, not all things are meant to be. Here are 7 signs that your relationship won’t last.
First of all, don’t despair. It can be sad that a relationship you’ve tried so hard to start doesn’t work out. But some people just aren’t compatible. Forcing a relationship to work when it doesn’t want to leads to unhappy relationships.
Second of all, you might notice these signs but you have to take things with a pinch of salt. No relationship is perfect, they all have their flaws. Only you can decide if there problems are significant enough, or if you can’t work past them.
But at the end of the day you need to trust your gut. You’ll know deep down if it’s working for you or not. Make sure you do what’s best for you.
You’re all over social media
The first sign of a relationship that’s not going to last is it’s public image. Posting every single thing you do, gushing over how in love you are, having 100s of photos of you kissing etc… these are things young teenagers do. Not what grown adults should do.
It’s cool to be proud of your relationship, but broadcasting it too much is weird. If you’re spending so much time updating facebook, are you spending enough time with the other person at all? Does everything you do revolve around a photo or status opportunity?
The fact is, if you feel the need to be so adamant that you have a fantastic, loving and completely 100% perfect relationship to everyone all the time, you should stop and ask yourself “who am I trying to prove this to?”.
You haven’t introduced her to your friends or family or vice versa
Introducing your new girlfriend/boyfriend to your friends should be something you want to do. After all, finding out if you get along with each other’s friends is a key part of a good long term relationship.
If you’re hiding your new partner away from your friends, it’s a sign that you’re not confident with the relationship. There could be many reasons for this. You might secretly be embarressed by them. It could be too much commitment for you.
It really is important to get on with each other’s friends. Friends are an indication of you as a person, as it highlights the sort of people you enjoy being around. If you clash with their friends, or they clash with yours, it shows that your probably incompatible people.
You’re not excited to spend time with them
When you start out in a new relationship, you want to spend every moment you can with your new girlfriend. You text each other a lot, you talk on the phone until the early hours of the morning.
If you release that you’re not looking forward to spending time with your partner, it’s a bad sign. You don’t need to be giddy about it, but you shouldn’t feel like it’s an obligation.
The heat and excitement of a new relationship does fizzle down over time. But it should be replaced with happy satisfaction sort of feeling. It should still be enjoyable. If you find yourself bored, easily distracted or actively looking for distractions – your relationship isn’t going to last.
There’s always drama
Fights are obviously a sign of a bad relationship. But couples argue. You just have to be aware of the frequency and intensity of your fights. People in bad relationships will be tense and more likely to start arguments over small things.
The constant drama in a relationship is a very bad sign. If you both constantly criticise each other, or find faults in their doing, you need to ask yourself “do I really like her?”.
Relationships need flexibility and compromise. You can’t win every fight, but if you feel the need to really put your foot down and defend yourself every time, something is majorly wrong.
If you’re unwilling to work through problems together and try and improve yourself, you’re relationship is doomed. A long term relationships needs understanding and clear communication from both parties.
A lack of communication
I am in the strong belief that the most important part in any relationship is communication. This means both verbal and physical communication. Big things and small things.
For instance, speaking daily to each other. This doesn’t mean texting 100 times an hour, but it does mean showing an interest in their daily life and wanting to be closer to them.
Discussing important decisions together, such as meeting family, moving house etc. You want to share you life with your partner, and an important way to do that is to let them be part of your decision process. Their opinion should matter to you.
Physical communication is also important. You can tell if a person is disinterested in you if they show no signs of wanting to touch you. This could be anything from holding hands, touching your shoulder, arm or leg subconsciously and hugging and kissing you. These are all signs of physical affection and shouldn’t be absent from a relationship.
Every relationship is unique
At the end of the day only you can decide if the relationship is working out or not. There are exceptions to every rule, so even if you notice these signs it’s not a 100% indication of a failing relationship.
However if you realise you’re nodding along to everything, you should really think about your relationship. Asking yourself if you’re happy is a hard thing to do. Answering yourself honestly is even harder.
But you’ll know deep down the answer, and whether or not you truly want to stay and make the relationship work.