I’ve noticed that men talk about getting blowjobs all the time, and yet giving oral sex to women is almost myth like when it comes to how often it’s discussed. I would like to think that this is because men don’t want to talk about their lady’s private parts, but experience has shown me that men don’t go down on girls half as often as the number of times they want girls to go down on them. Here are 10 things I wish men knew about oral sex, that might just help you try it out more often.

harriet bends over, with her ass in the air

1. Don’t be shy to suggest oral sex

I have been asked plenty of times for a blowjob, but very rarely asked if I would like to receive some oral sex myself. Lots of guys are probably embarrassed to ask, but there aren’t any real excuses as to why not. I get nervous asking sometimes, because it’s very intimate to have my partner’s head between my legs, and so I feel very grateful and complimented if my partner asks me first.

2. It’s not a race

When it comes to oral sex for women, think slow and steady rather than fast and furious. That’s not to say don’t mix up the tempo and actions. I find one of the most common “techniques” guys seem to use is to flick their tongue crazy fast over the clit, as if they are trying to imitate a vibrator. A lot of women take a long time to climax, so don’t worry if it takes a little longer!

3. Don’t latch on like a leech

Or a hoover. Whilst only furiously licking is one thing, suckling on like a new born baby won’t work miracles either. Instead you should try mixing it up and trying out different techniques. Obviously don’t change every 5 seconds, if you think she likes it a certain way, keep doing it, if not, change it up.

4. Give compliments!

I am super self concious about myself, and when it comes to my lady parts, I have a ton of extra things to worry about. Being told that you “love the smell” or “can’t get enough of the taste” is wildly exciting and flattering and helps relax me as well.

5. Ask for directions

I love it when a guy tells me what he likes from a blowjob, and when he tells me he enjoys what I’m doing a certain way. It took a lot of practice to get to the point where I’m feeling confident with my skills, so I don’t expect every guy ever to be an oral sex expert. I want you to ask me how I like things done, and it makes me feel great to know you’re working hard to pleasure me.

6. Don’t keep checking up on me

There’s asking for some tips, then there’s asking me if I’m ok every 20 seconds. Can you imagine if a girl kept stopping to ask “are you ok? You sure?” a billion times? It disrupts the flow and mood of the act. It also makes it sound like you’re unsure and not enjoying it yourself, which doesn’t help me enjoy myself.

7. Use your fingers as well

Oral sex doesn’t mean exclusive oral use. Think about the best blowjob you’ve ever had, the girl probably used her hands at points to stroke your shaft or fondle your balls right? In the same way, you can use your fingers to play with girls at the same time as going down on her. If your partner is especially adventurous then why not try using sex toys as well?

8. The rides not completely done even after we cum

Girl’s orgasms are different from men, in the sense they can last a lot longer and we’re capable of multiple orgasms. After a girl has cum, it’s the perfect chance to keep teasing and playing with her. This is because our bodies are on super sensitive mode and it won’t take much to push over the edge again.

9. Wipe your mouth before kissing us afterwards

I don’t mind the taste of myself, but sometimes I think it’s just a little more polite for the guy to clean himself up before kissing me. After all, I don’t make you french me when I’ve just swallowed.

10. Try out different positions

Oral sex should be fun, for both partners. Why not try doing it in the 69 position occasionally? Oral sex doesn’t have to be vanilla and you can incorporate it into more BDSM routines if you wanted.