Dating tips can be like water, available pretty much anywhere you look and, sometimes, just not exactly what you need. And, while we’ve all heard the saying that “breaking up is hard to do,” just because you’ve spent weeks, months or even years with someone, doesn’t mean that you owe that person anything else once you both call it quits.

It’s not that ending a relationship should mean disrespect or holding a petty bitterness towards your ex, but, remember, getting back together with an ex is like putting on dirty underwear after a shower, so be sure to keep your distance. Constant communication can only blur the lines between relationship and friendship, and, in the moments following a break-up, it’s best to rediscover yourselves.

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Knowing all too well the pain of a break-up, we’re giving you a few dating tips that should serve as your bible when dealing with one yourself. Sure, it’s easy to think about and want to text your ex, sharing all that’s going on with you — after all, it was a routine of yours while together — but that’s just one of the many things to avoid doing.

Take a look at some of the ways to help deal with an ex, and make sure these dating tips are some you actually deem to be useful.

Rant On Social Media

We know you want to pour your heart out or show everyone that you’re fine without your ex, but avoid the trap of doing so on a social platform like Facebook or Instagram. Trust us, it always seems to end poorly and makes you seem desperate for attention.

Sure, you may look at your social media as anything more than somewhere fun to express yourself, but between mutual friends, family and your ex (presumably) checking in on you, too, no one wants to get a first-class ticket into your life right now.

Hangout with mutual friends

Don’t make other uncomfortable by forcing them to choose sides. We don’t care if you’re best friend is someone you’ve known for half your life, if she is dating someone met through your ex, it’s going to be super weird.

This is a common mistake following a break-up, and we all make mistakes, but it usually just ends in arguments between friends. For those who are digging for dirt through her friends by all of a sudden texting or messaging them, you deserve whatever’s coming your way, because that type of stuff can be read through like a pane of glass.

Texting or calling them

For some reason, this one isn’t as obvious as some may think, as people always still seem to do one or both following a break-up. There are plenty of dating tips out there, but the one that should always sit atop the lists are to avoid communication with a person who doesn’t want to be with you.

Texting or calling just making you look desperate, and, remember, confidence is one of the sexiest traits a person can have. You’re broken up for a reason now, so don’t get sucked into the trap of trying to make your ex a part of your life any longer. If fate aligns for the two of you to talk down the road, so be it.

Make changes for them

Your ex may have said that she wants someone who’s a little less flirty, or sensitive, or a better listener. Well, if that’s not who you’ve always been and is what makes you happiest about yourself, why would you try to change to satisfy your former significant other? There are plenty of fish in the sea who will accept you for you, and that extends beyond any physical attraction or financial success.

Break-ups sting at the beginning and make people think they’ve failed, however, the heartache is sure to pass over time. Maintain your identity and surround yourself with people who can help get you back to who you’ve always been.

Full-Fledged Sex

If there’s one thing you should never, ever, ever do, it’s this. No matter the situation or conversation that led to the two of you to get together after a break-up in the first place, having sex with an ex is setting yourselves up for more heartbreak and further confusion. Unless you’re actually back together or are on the path towards being, sex with an ex is like eating the world’s hottest pepper, it’s cool for the thrill, until the pain really kicks in afterwards.