Dating a coworker can be a tricky proposition, we all know that. Between the politics and risk of messing up company culture by letting personal feelings impact professional objectives, getting involved with someone you share an office with isn’t for everyone. Still, as we pointed out the other day, there’s a reason why so many are, naturally, attracted to a coworker.
For those who aren’t scared off by the thought of dating a coworker — and want to snag that office hottie once and for all — we’ve got some tips on how to do just that. Forget the fact that everyone in the company is crushing all over that sexy girl in marketing, if you want her, there’s a way to successfully do it. Follow these tips and she’ll be yours in no time. Hell, you may even find yourself getting down and dirty in the copy room after pulling a late night in the office when no one else is around.
Be nice, but not weird
OK, so she’s hot and you’re totally feeing her vibe, but that doesn’t mean you should make it be known right away. After all, this is your coworker first, and a love interest second. The last thing you want to do is put tension between the two of you (and other coworkers) by coming on too strong. This includes creepily dropping hints that you’re into her too soon. When you’re trying too hard and show up in the break room every time she’s there, it’s a bit weird.
Flirt and show interest
Now that you’ve broken the ice and started talking, now’s the time to make it be known you’re interested. Flirting in the office happens all the time, but it’s different than out at the bar. That’s because, of course, there are rules about what is and isn’t acceptable between business hours. Flirting in the office with a coworker should be subtle things, like complimenting her on a great idea for something, or bringing her some candy from the front desk as you pass by her, just letting her know you want to make the day a bit better by eating sweets. Sounds cheesy, but it’s effective.
Ask her out to lunch
Don’t overthink this, guys; ask her out! We know it’s casual at first, but spending time together will allow you two to chat about things other than work. Even if she’s hesitant to have it be just the two of you at first, that’s cool, bring a couple other coworkers along and make it more casual. At some point, if you keep playing your cards right and she’s interested, it’ll slowly turn into just the two of you.
Go at a snail’s pace
Dating a coworker isn’t going to happen in a week, or a month, or, hell, even a couple months at times. Remember, people stay at their jobs for years, so don’t come on too strong so early that you ruin it before it can begin. Flirting, taking her to lunch and swapping numbers are all good, but, until you’re 100 percent confident that she’s interested, don’t ask her out for a happy hour or over the weekend just yet. In a way, you’ll want to play hard to get — even when you know she’s into it — just to make sure she’s on the same page. Oh, and don’t sleep with her unless you plan on dating her.
Keep it silent
Whether you followed that last bit from above about not sleeping with her or not, regardless of how you two define the relationship, it’s so important to keep things silent from other coworkers. The last thing a company needs is high school drama that’s stemming from things that occurred outside of the office. Offices can be cliquey, so don’t put others in uncomfortable positions about a relationship between two people, or worse, leave a job because there’s too much dysfunction or rumors floating around the water cooler.