Ghosting is one of those dating techniques that we’ve all done at some point. That said, it doesn’t make it the nice thing to do, you know, if you care about things like that.

Given the fact people are constantly looking for the “best thing” when it comes to dating, swiping through online dating apps to land a bunch of matches to validate that, yes, they’re attractive, or going on an abundance of dates even if they have something good right in front of them, it’s time to stop this whole ghosting thing. To put it bluntly, our parents never did it, their parents never did it, yet, only because of cell phones, does our generation continue to do it.

We’re not here to try and change the mentality of every single person out there, but, with mental health and depression a (continued) rising concern all around the world, some of it can be attributed to ghosting. After all, it’s one thing to be let down in person, it’s another to be blocked and cutoff from someone for, seemingly, no reason at all, leaving you question why and how it got to that point.

To help stop this unnecessary doubt in everyone’s mind, we propose being honest, telling another person why you’re just not interested. Do it with kindness without going into too many details, but, even if you’ve never met this person in real life, here’s how and why it’s time to start ghosting.

Put yourself in their position

You know that old saying that reminds you to treat others as you want to be treated? Well, believe it or not, that thought should be applied when considering ghosting someone or not, because being on the receiving end of such rejection is hard to deal with. It leaves the ultimate sign of ambiguity, with the ghosted person wondering if it was something they said, a collective things they said or did, or, in some cases, the feeling that they’re just not good enough physically or emotionally. Why hurt someone like that?

Ghosting hurts, man

Speaking of hurting, for anyone who has been ghosted before — which is, probably, all of us — you know just how bad it actually stings when it happens. Sure, the bad feeling may only last for a few hours or overnight, but there’s no question it leaves so much doubt about who you are, questioning why ghosting took place. More so, it makes someone feel like an idiot, as if they just got played by someone and disrespected.

Honesty gives them closure

Whether they deserve it or not, being open about why you’re uninterested may not be the easiest thing to communicate, but it’s better than the alternative. In most cases, ghosting someone will hurt their feelings, then make you look like a real jerk. While mustering up the guts to tell them you’re just not feeling it can be nerve-wracking, it has to be better than being known as the jerk, right? Whatever your reason for not being interested is, giving them honest feedback allows for closure and an opportunity for them to work on certain things you found unattractive.

Naturally, they worry for the worst

When ghosting someone may feel like the easiest thing for you to do, believing it’s the dating equivalent to tearing off a band-aid, they may not think of it that way — especially when they’re blindsided by you doing so. Just when you’re both flirty and, seemingly, fine, to find out they’ve been blocked or that you’re unresponsive may leave them worrying for your well-being. How do they know you’re not lying in a ditch somewhere? Or that you weren’t just using them to waste time during a boring night, with them revealing certain things to you that didn’t mean a damn thing? Or, like most people, they just think that they’re bad at dating and aren’t good enough for someone else? Dating isn’t a game, so remember that emotions are involved before deciding to ghost someone.