Kinky sex is one of the most common fetishes in the bedroom, with loads of people open to tying one another up, spanking, slapping, role-playing and, well, you get the point. Thing is, it takes two people to participate and feel comfortable in that type of sexual environment, so it’s not always easy to live out such pleasures.
For instance, some girls are totally open to dressing up as a naughty nurse and making her man feel as if he’s the patient, shagging all night long as if they’re doing something dirty. Likewise, some guys want to have a threesome with their girlfriend and her friend, but it’s not necessarily a topic that most girls want to talk about in a committed relationship.
So, what’s it like to be those people who love kinky sex but can’t find the right type of person? We examined this by heading over to the Tinder blog to see what some of the people who identified as total kinks had to say.
“For the past few years, I’ve come to realize that I enjoy taboo sex. While trying to understand myself and at least tread unexplored territory, I’ve been into puke/vomit sex — mostly oral sex-induced. I don’t blast this fetish to the world. I browse Fetlife.com, but I haven’t ever actually met with someone [from the site] to engage in the activity. I usually only watch videos or realize it with my girlfriend. It would make things less uncomfortable and controversial if [I met someone who has] come to the conclusion they have the same taboo fetish. I have no interest in imposing it if I can clearly see they’re not kinky to that extreme.” – Glen, 23
“I have a fetish called feederism. I’m very turned on and sexually motivated by body fat and weight gain, specifically my own. In fetish vernacular, that would make me a ‘feedee.’ Someone who is turned on by body fat and weight gain on another is called a ‘feeder.’ It looks different from person to person, but I am particularly interested in power play, and there’s often a [dominant/subdominant] component to it. The idea of becoming submissive to my feeder and giving into my body is really hot to me. My partner and I often have dirty talk around losing control, letting myself go, and the humiliation that follows. Humiliation is a huge part of it, such as name calling like ‘disgusting fat pig.’” – Melissa, 33
“I’ve been in several poly/open relationships in the past, which turned me onto this kink of group play. I enjoy being physically intimate with couples especially, but this comes with nuances and complexities. I have participated in one ‘orgy,’ but usually my comfort is in threesome territory. I don’t usually like group play with total strangers, oronly strangers. I prefer to be with people I have met or been intimate with beforehand. I assume a more dominant role in these situations since I usually top…
My fetish has definitely never jeopardized a relationship. However, I have had one or two partners who were somewhat shocked or confused when I told them about my group play fetish. Usually these are partners that are more monogamy-minded. But I never have asked a partner if they wanted to do group play or bring in a third. In my experience, holding back and not mentioning it can actually influence your sexual interactions and people may pick up on you wanting something more.” – Daniel, 24
We found this all pretty interesting, as some of the respondents went into detail about how uncomfortable it might be for them to bring up their kinky sex fantasies to a potential partner. Thing is, we all have our own turn-ons and things that please us, so none of these should be looked down upon or make anyone feel weird about. It’s just cool to see other people openly talk about some of the difficulties they have on online dating apps like Tinder when it comes to finding exactly what they want, especially since the physical side of a relationship is an important factor, too, so you don’t want to sacrifice what you prefer in the bedroom.