The number 1 thing a guy worries is about, is a girl thinking he’s creepy. You can be unattractive, or boring or a jackass, but nothing beats a creep. The scariest part is how sometimes, you can sound creepy without even realising it. Here’s my guide on how to talk to girls without sounding creepy.
- First and most importantly as far as I’m concerned is personal space. Or the lack of it. Everyone has their own personal space, and a boundary that once crossed, puts you in the creeper zone. As soon as you cross that line into her personal space, her guard goes up and she’ll be so busy being uncomfortable with your proximity that it’ll be very hard for her to relax and actually hear what you’re saying. Men, after all, are stronger and often bigger than women, so if you’re too close to her, she can feel intimidated by you.
- Don’t give unwanted Touching. I met up with a guy the other week, someone who I had met once before at a lecture and he texted about wanting to ask about review questions. I thought that seemed harmless enough. We met in a really busy street food market and he kept putting his arms around my shoulder, or putting his hands on my elbow or waist. It was completely unwanted, I had only met this guy once and he had completely overstepped my personal boundary. So don’t go round touching girls you don’t know well without their consent. An accidental arm brush is harmless, but continuously touching my arm? Creepy.
- Don’t try Coming onto a girl that doesn’t want it. One of the most common reasons why I’ve had girls tell me they’ve found a guy creepy is when the guy keeps coming onto her. Sometimes a girl just interested in you, and by continuing to pursue her aggressively you’ll make things awkward for the both of you. After all, there’s only so many times you can politely turn someone down. If she states she already has a boyfriend, that’s a good sign that you should back off. Sometimes you might find it difficult to know if a girl has actually rejected you or not, but you should be able to tell from the subjects she steers to and also her body language.
- Don’t constantly bring up sexual topics. I always thought this one would be obvious, but I’ve met a lot of people who when you first meet them bring up really inappropriate topics. It sounds weird coming from me because I’ll talk about sex all the time on cam, but that’s a case of “right time, right place.” The first meeting is not a time when you should casually mention your fetishes or porn preferences. Sex is easy to joke about, so I think a lot of guys do it as a form of humour, but it can come across as really creepy to a girl if you’ve just met and the guy won’t stop talking about sex. Not only are you seen as creepy, but also a huge pervert.
- Don’t Brag about your sexual prowess. This carries on from the previous point. Men who constantly brag about how good they are in bed can very often come across as creepy. They can also come across as desperate. When I first meet a guy, I really don’t need him to tell me how good he would be at licking me out. It puts unwanted sexual images into my head and honestly, I would write that person off straight away.
When you meet a girl for the first time, just make sure you can make her feel as comfortable and relaxed around you as possible. Don’t push topics she doesn’t want to talk about. Listen to her and watch out for her body language. A lot of guys feel that they need to have something funny or interesting to say to catch a girl’s attention, but the best pick up line is to just introduce yourself and talk normally. When you first meet a girl, you don’t really know what she likes, and she doesn’t know what you’re like, so if you try to impress her by doing or saying something something out of character it can come off as awkward and creepy.
Men think Unattractive = Creepy
Women think Unsafe/threat = Creepy
It really comes down to this difference in what men and women think women find creepy. A guy will often assume that if he is unattractive he’ll come across as creepy. The fact is, the most handsome men can also come across as creepy. Creepy isn’t about your looks, it’s about how you act towards a girl. If you invade her personal space, intimidate her and bring up inappropriate subjects she’ll consider you a threat to her, and that’s where the feelings of creepiness come from. For instance, if a guy starts going through and liking every single picture on your facebook for the past 2 years in a single evening, that can be interpreted as creepy because it comes across as a bit stalkerish.