Guys there’s a right way and a wrong way to do one-night stands. The right way means you get fun, no strings attactched sex, the other means there’s going to be a girl who thinks you’re the world’s biggest douche. How to get the first part without being the second part? Follow my one-night stand rules for men.
You’re at the bar, or the club, or wherever. You spot a girl, she’s hot and you’d really like to take her back for some casual sex. First there’s the approach. The one-night stand rules for men start at the approach. Don’t make it super obvious that you want sex from her. It comes across as creepy and desperate.
Instead, talk to her like a normal person. Flirt a bit. Have fun, maybe dance together. This part should be enjoyable. A rule for one-night stands is don’t have a one-night stand with someone you wouldn’t like normally. Sure it might just be sex, and you don’t want feelings involved, but you should like the other person on some basic level as a minimum requirement.
Picking someone you don’t like normally, simply going on looks, means you’re more likely to regret things the next day.
This is also a good time to throw out the bait that you’re only looking for something casual. In most settings, the girl will understand you’re looking for something casual. She probably is too. But if you’re worried about her misunderstanding you should just be open and honest about it. Don’t outright mention that you’re only looking for a one-night stand, but don’t lead the girl on either.
Getting her back to your place
The classic “your place or mine” isn’t cool. Does anyone actually use it? It can make things feel a bit cheap. A good rule to keep in mind is that you should never insinuate you’re leaving the club for sex reasons. Keep it classy and make up a reason why she should go back to your place. And yes, you should definitely offer your place. It’s ok to go back to a girl’s place, if she offers, but in general the etiquette is for the guy to offer his abode. Or book a hotel in some cases.
A friend of mine always keeps a bottle of Prosecco in his house just in case. At the bar he’ll order a bottle of champagne or wine, and he’ll casually mention “I just live around the corner, I’ve got another bottle at home.” even if his house is actually miles away. So even if you invite them back for a coffee, it’s good to have a pretence that it’s something else.
Always have a condom
This is an iron clad one-night stand rule for men. It should be an iron clad rule whether it’s a one night stand or not. If you’re going to have sex with someone for the first time, it’s important to wear a condom. It’s the smart thing to do. You should also be very wary about having casual sex with someone who doesn’t insist on using a condom.
Keeping a condom in your wallet isn’t advised by a lot of medical people, due to the friction which means it’s more likely to break. However there aren’t many alternative places to keep condoms on you. You should however keep a stash of them in your bedside table. This is another fantastic reason why bringing her back to your place works out better.
It’s ok to experiment a bit
One-night stands can be a fun time to experiment new sex moves or talking dirty. If it doesn’t work out, you don’t ever have to see that person again. However it’s not the time to whip out all your bondage gear. The best way to determine how kinky or experimental to go is to simply talk to your partner.
Find out things they might want to try, don’t be scared about getting judged. Don’t do things you think might be sexy, without consulting your partner first. I once had a guy pour a glass of water on me and it was not sexy.
Don’t ask her to leave straight afterwards
Spending the night with your one-night stand shouldn’t be weird. Asking someone to leave, or leaving yourself, right after sex can make your partner feel they’ve just been used. Sex is intimate, and spooning and sleeping together afterwards can be nice.
One friend of mine explains a one-night stand as “pretending to be in a relationship for a night.” which I think is a great way of looking at it. Treat her like you would your girlfriend. You don’t have to make her breakfast in the morning, but no one should have to trudge home at 3am.