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When it comes to pursuing love, things can get tricky if you can’t tell when your attentions are wanted or not. How do we tell if we need to back off, or if she’s playing hard to get? Here are the reasons why you need to stop chasing the girl. 

For guys, it can be really difficult to figure out if a girl is playing hard to get, or if she genuinely wants you to stop chasing her. We’ve all heard that women want strong, brave men that can sweep them off their feet. Yet if you give a girl unwanted attention too much you could end up being labelled as a creep.

So how do we avoid that? When do we be persistent, and when do we throw in the towel? The first and most important thing to keep in mind is respect. Sometimes we get so caught up in the job of getting the girl, we can forget to think of her as a person. Instead, some guys start thinking of her as a prize.

Instead, some guys start thinking of her as a prize. But life isn’t a video game. You could do all the right things, tick off a list of romantic gestures, and still not get the girl. This is because women are their own person, with their own thoughts, and we have to remember to respect that.

When we get caught up in what we’re doing, and how good we are, it’s easy to forget to really consider and think about the other person. Are you respecting their wishes? Or are you ignoring the signs and pushing ahead with your own agenda.

The signs she’s not interested

There are some very clear signs you can look for that will tell you a girl is not interested. Ignoring these signs and continuing your pursuit can make you seem “too much”, and turn her off even more.

  • She doesn’t text/call back  – since we are in the digital age, a lot of relationships start through texts or facebook messages. A good way to tell if a girl is interested in you is to see how she responds to you in messages. Do you send her a ton of texts before she replies? If she replies? Do her answers feel short and curt? These are all signs she’s not into you.
  • She avoids you in person – If a girl is constantly making excuses to not be around you, then it can be a pretty good sign that she doesn’t want a romantic thing with you. Does she always seem busy when you ask her out? Does she sit away from you in groups?
  • She acts indifferently – When a girl acts indifferently towards you, you might think she’s playing hard to get. But it’s she’s always indifferent to you, then that’s probably a sign she means it.
  • She’s told you no – I have a friend who tells me “In Italy, the women actively says no! They want the men to chase them. It’s just how dating works over there.” Now, this might be true in Italy, and it might even be true for some girls. But a good rule is, no means no. If a girl says no, turns you down, tell you outright she’s not interested, then the message should be pretty clear.

What if she doesn’t mean it?

Another reason why you should stop chasing the girl is that sometimes when you stop, she’ll give you a sign she was interested. But you won’t know until you give her a rest. For example, sometimes a guy will tell me he’s interested in me.

For example, sometimes a guy will tell me he’s interested in me. I turn him down, after all, I have never thought about him in that way. But after his initial confession, I start to notice him more and also start to develop a romantic interest in him.

It can be a good idea to simply let a girl know you’re interested in her, get yourself on her radar, then leave the ball in her court. Girls do want to be chased by guys they like, but you should wait to find out if she likes you first. Of course, don’t ignore her afterwards. Instead, continue to treat her as a friend whilst giving her time to consider things.

When you should stop for yourself

One important reason why you should stop chasing the girl is that it could be hurting you more than you realise. Pursing unrequited love sucks. It takes a toll on our physical and mental health. It’s important to know when you need to stop, for your own sake.

  • Your self-esteem is affected – Rejection takes its toll. If you feel that you’re becoming less confident, less brave, more nervous etc, then it’s time to stop. Chasing her isn’t making you happy.
  • She seems to be toying with you – It’s a sad fact that some women enjoy leading men on. They crave the attention but want nothing beyond that. If you feel you’re being used, led on, or generally toyed with, you should try and walk away from the situation.
  • Your friends have noticed – Friends are great for spotting when things are going wrong for us. They have a different look on things. If your friends tell you to move on, it’s probably a good idea to listen to them.
  • If you think you’re going crazy – When you start getting really frustrated, asking yourself “Should I stop?”, “Is this crazy?” then yes, you should stop. If you can’t even recognise whether or not it’s a good idea, then it’s time to take a break.
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