Cheating on your significant other sucks, but, unfortunately, people make the poor decision to do so. While, most people, claim that it’s one of the most selfish things a person can do while in a relationship — and we tend to agree — after it happens, there are certain things a man can do to help salvage things.
OK, so the cat’s out of the bag and now you’ve really dug yourself into a bottomless hole, but the hard part has only just begun, because, to repair things, it’s going to take a lot of work.
Even if your lady says she hates you and never wants to talk or see you again, that doesn’t mean you should go to the bar and get yourself another little lady friend. Grab your balls and start making some changes if you really want to try and work things out.
Don’t Deny It
You’ve already disrespected your significant other enough, so the very last thing you should do now is to try and defend yourself by saying that it never actually happened. Show your gal some respect and be upfront, owning up to your mistake and refusing to allow yourself to become the victim.
The truth will come out at some point, and, even if it doesn’t, do you really want to have a guilty conscience moving forward? We hope not, so ‘fess up and take responsibility.
Be As Open As Possible
Although your lady doesn’t want to hear whether you enjoyed the sex with another woman or not — avoid details — she does want to know when and where it happened to ease her mind and help her make the next decision with you. Whether that’s what you want or not is something to ask yourself, assuming she wants to even try.
You might not be getting back with her in the end, but, at the very least, you should answer everything she wants to know truthfully, even if it causes her a ton of pain.
Spend Some Time Away From Your Lady
This might be exactly what you want, but, hopefully, you don’t use the time away to go find more ladies to fool around with. Whether this is the first time or an ongoing trait of yours, use the time to reflect on what the problem is and deep dive into what you really want moving forward. Now’s not the time to be the nice guy and try to repair things to save your reputation.
Giving her space will definitely be hard — especially if you both want to work it out — but, ultimately, it will help her collect her thoughts while helping you realize just how big your mistake really was.
It’ll be hard not to be there for the person you really care about, but the damage is done and the ball is in her court to decide where the relationship should go from here — but only after you both reflect on things solo first.
No one likes to admit weakness, but, like someone who would take Advil for a monster headache, you need to talk to a professional to help settle your issues — both with yourself and with the problems that led you to cheating on your significant other in the first place.
Regardless of where things are at between you and the significant other, you need to get any thoughts of temptation out of your head for future reasons so not to repeat your mistakes.
Like an old car that needs some body work, fix the problem now before it deteriorates and gets even worse.
Accept What Happens
OK, so you’ve done everything you can after cheating, have been patient through all the talks with your lady, parents, friends and anyone else who might feel betrayed, now it’s time to accept your fate. Remember, you’re not the victim here, your significant other is.
Hopefully, you went through all of this with the intention of getting better and not just as a “get out of jail for free” card. Now that it’s time for your lady to either give you another chance or call it quits, you need to take it like a man and deal with the consequences — and yes, that even means getting berated for your behavior from anyone who knows what happened. It’s just part of the territory of cheating on your significant other.