We all have sex numbers — you know, the things that count how many times in our lives we’ve gotten down and dirty. But, outside of having an idea of that specific number or talking to your buddies about what it might be, is it ever OK to ask a girl what her sex number is?

Look, we all have a past, and, regardless if a relationship is brand spankin’ new, a few months in, or has been going strong for years, bringing up old stuff and letting it affect you is always going to do more damage than good. Remember that, because, living in the past is no way to go through life.

Still, that doesn’t answer the question we posed above about if/when it’s OK to ask a girl about her sex number. Since we’re destined to give you some tips, keep on reading to see if it’s a good idea.

For health reasons

The most obvious reason that a guy should ask a girl her sex number is for health reasons. Look, just because you’re dating a “good girl” who, on paper, might check all the boxes off, doesn’t mean that she’s been an angel her entire life — especially when it comes to sex. Even if she has, and her sex number is just two people by the age of 30, that still doesn’t mean she’s completely free of any potential diseases. Plus, how does one define sex? Is it penetration? Is it oral or anal? These things matter, so it’s an important discussion to have.

For peace of mind

OK, so your girl says that she’s had sex about 30 times in her life, but only three times in the two years prior to meeting you. That shouldn’t be taken as jealousy, but taken as an honest answer to help give you some peace of mind about things. Whether that peace is about the aforementioned health reasons, any questions of infidelity or something else, it can be good to know her sex number.

To build trust, honesty and open communication

As we mentioned earlier, we all have a past. That said, accepting it, learning from it and moving on is what makes us mature as human beings. So, while you and/or your girlfriend might have gone through a stage of lots of hook-ups and sex during college and a few years after, fine. But, if you’ve both slowed your roll a bit and are learning the emotional connection that sex is about between two people, then you two can both talk about it and actually make your relationship stronger — assuming you’re both telling the truth.

To see her reaction

This is not the best reason to ask your girl what her sex number is, but, hey, there are some conniving people in this world, so asking her how many people she’s slept with in her life for a reaction could bring out some truth. If there’s some question in your mind that she might be fooling around on you or has lied to you about other things just to seem like the “good girl,” then seeing how she reacts to asking what her sex number is could uncover some hidden secrets. Again, this isn’t the best reason to ask, but, if she gets defensive and it turns into a fight, something might be off.