Having a fear of commitment is pretty common in guys, as most of us weigh both the positives and negatives before jumping into something serious with a girl. That said, when it becomes routine and a guy is acting on that fear, it can be a serious problem.
Fear of commitment is, by definition, pretending to be in a relationship — whether married or otherwise — while he struggles with infidelity thoughts or actions. This can lead cheating, breaking things off with a girl prior to making things official and/or bad sexual habits that can lead to disease for lack of protection. It makes the uncommitted person unavailable, while emotionally wrecking his partner.
If some of these things sound familiar, you may have a fear of commitment. We breakdown some common signs of the so-called phobia, to help you try and overcome them.
You’ve got a watchful eye
This type of fear of commitment exists in all of us, but it has varying levels of intensity. For instance, whether you’re single, causally dating, in a relationship or married, there will always be other people that you find attractive, it’s just human nature. However, when you have the mentality that you’d be more interested in pursuing these types of people than the one you’re currently with, that’s when you may find yourself guarded. Remember, you shouldn’t always be looking for something better.
Fearing the end of a relationship
No one wants to waste their own time, so why enter a relationship that will just end in heartbreak, right? Well, if this is a mindset that you typically have, then there’s a good chance you’ve got some sort of fear of commitment. You shouldn’t enter into any relationship scared about how it might end before it even begins, so think about all the good times you can have together and not worry about what you might be doing wrong that could end it. This mentality will leave you guarded and insecure, which won’t leave you with your best foot forward.
You find excuses to hold off relationships
You’ve got a five-year plan or want to accomplish other things before you’re ready to start dating. That’s really ambitious of you, but, be honest with yourself, you’re probably destined to be alone if you act out this type of blueprint. Look, we’re all for having goals, but doing them with someone who cares about you by your side will feel better as you reach them together, so don’t think of your partner as a detriment of accomplishing those goals.
Bad memories from a previous relationship
We are creatures of our own experiences, so if your heart has been broken before or you just seem to be incapable of holding down relationships, it might be holding you back from focusing on the current relationship with someone. It can be extremely difficult getting over someone, but, if you’re struggling with it, find help that can assist in letting your guard down and opening up, otherwise you’re never going to be truly satisfied.
Fear of overcommitting
It’s one thing to have a fear of commitment for some of the reasons we mentioned above, but another common trait is simply fear of overcommitting. This means you’re almost trying to be too perfect and be too available to your girl, making you both lose your personal time. You may think that, as soon as you enter a relationship, you’ll be bogged down with other couples and lose your sense of individuality, which can turn you bitter about a relationship altogether.