If you’ve ever wanted to feel frustrated, surround yourself with flaky people who always seem to break off plans or refuse to commit altogether. It’s not that we all haven’t done it before, it’s that, when it becomes routine, it’s easy to be upset, hurt and even get mad.

While it doesn’t tend to be a huge deal when friends flake out on plans, it can become a big issue when girls do it while trying to date. Just when you think you’ve aligned schedules and decided on a time and place to meet up, she texts you early in the morning of the day you’re supposed to meet to tell you she can’t. One time is OK, two times is frustrating, three times means she’s probably not interested.

Since no guy wants to be turned down, or will continue to be persistent till a girl actually does say the words, “I’m not interested in meeting up,” here are ways to handle flaky people when it comes to dating without showing signs of frustration.

Don’t come across as desperate

Whether you met this girl in real life or through one of the many online dating apps out there, one thing you cannot do is come across as desperate. Sure, you’re interested in her and want to give her the time of day, and you expect the same respect in return, but coming on too strong or desperate will immediately turn her off. Not only will she feel a bit overwhelmed with your attempts, but she’ll pick up hints that you don’t have many other options, and, as much as girls want to feel wanted by a man, it comes after hanging out more than just a few times for them to develop such a mentality.

Ask her outright if she’s just not interested

Hey, rather than go back and forth and wonder why she may be ignoring your texts or flaking out after making date plans, just ask her outright if she’s no longer interested in meeting up. Not only does it show you’re confident in what she’ll say, but it shows you’re self-aware of the situation. Plus, who knows, maybe she’s actually been so busy that she doesn’t even realize she’s flaking out as often as she is.

Maintain a confident and masculine mentality

Above all, anytime you communicate with flaky people, especially a girl when trying to date, you need to make sure you’re confident and masculine. As mentioned above, when you come across as desperate or lonely, she’s going to be turned off immediately. Stop seeking approval or asking for a reason and just accept the fact that there are plenty of other fish in the sea for you to go after.

Don’t make her the priority

Sure, you may really be into this girl on the surface, with her checking off the boxes physically, but if she’s being flaky now, just think about how worse things may get after a few dates of getting to know her. That said, while you want to put forth the effort, there’s a fine line between being persistent, being annoying and making her a priority. When you over-communicate and don’t realize you’re doing it, it’s not making her any more willing to actually meet up.

Be a little more mysterious

Related to a couple of the other points above, girls don’t want to know everything about a guy right away, so being too available or lacking some type of mystery probably won’t make her all that intrigued to meet up. Chances are you’re giving her way too much info about yourself, which can lead to an underwhelming feeling on her part. Again, girls want to feel wanted by guys, but only after she’s gotten to know him enough to realize she’s no longer looking for another one. We know, it’s a stupid game, but it’s one that has to be played in order to snag the girl you really want, and avoid her flaking out so often.