Wondering how to stop being jealous and worrying about your girlfriend give her attention elsewhere, or, worse, maybe even cheating on you? Unfortunately, most guys have that little complex in their own heads, but it’s actually further from the truth — and we want to help you get over that anxiety.

Look, let’s not lie to ourselves, we’ve all had moments of jealousy while in a relationship. Whether it’s early on when we’re just starting to get to know our girlfriend, or something that lasts for months or years, being jealous is part of our mental makeup, whether we want to admit it or not. Hopefully, it wears off sooner rather than later so that you and your girl can enjoy the relationship without worry, building trust and honesty.

Here’s the thing, though, knowing how to stop being jealous and actually doing it are two very different things. So you have to understand that it’s going to take work on your part to break your old (bad) habits. We’re here to help you do that, so take a look at some of the tips below.

Stop being jealous by dropping your insecurities

We all have insecurities, and, lots of times, this is what leads us to thinking our significant other might be fooling around or losing interest in us. That’s because there’s always going to be someone more handsome… or smarter… or taller… or more talented… or wealthier. OK, so you get the point; nobody’s perfect.

Thing is, what’s awesome about a relationship is trying to figure out if you and your girl are perfect for one another. We know that sounds a little cheesy, but it’s true. Once you both accept that we all have flaws that we’re aware of — and, some that we can’t change — you and your girlfriend will be much happier in your relationship.

It’s easy to say “be confident,” but it’s deeper than that, because you need to be comfortable in your own skin before you really, truly can make someone else happy. Remember that, otherwise you may have a hard time getting over jealousy. Life’s not always a competition, guys.

Remind yourself jealousy is doing more harm than good

When you find yourself getting jealous in your own mind, stop, breathe, and do anything to preoccupy yourself with another activity. This means going for a run, blasting music or getting up and moving around other ways.

The last thing you need to do right now is broach the topic with your girlfriend or buddies, creating some imaginary narrative in your own head that there’s something more going on than there really is. So avoid pointing the finger.

If you don’t know how to stop being jealous, you’re playing with fire, as it’ll eventually lead to arguments, bitterness and, possibly, a full-on breakup. Who wants that because of a feeling?

Let your guard down and forget about your past

If you’ve been burned in the past, it’s extremely difficult to let down your guard and trust another girl. This usually means you’ve been cheated on, been used, been led down a path that emotionally abused you and got you to a point where it’s tough to fully move on from that — even after finding another girl.

Unfortunately, it’s time to suck it up and realize that not every girl is the same. While your ex may not have treated you right, be grateful you weren’t trapped and had to deal with that person for the rest of your life. That’s something to be positive about.

Dating can be challenging because it makes people vulnerable, and, regardless of what occurred previously, don’t miss out on a great opportunity with your current girlfriend because you’re afraid of how things ended in your past. That type of jealousy will only push her away.

Think positively, not so negatively

The best part about being in a relationship is experiencing things together and getting to know another person on a deep level; enjoy that! When you’re letting your mind and anxiety run away with jealous thoughts, just think about all the time you and your girlfriend spend together that prove she’s devoted to you.

Whether that means going through pictures of a trip you two took, or reading a text message she sent you that really lifted your spirits, when you’re positive, it’s attractive. Plus, it’ll let you avoid over-thinking, which can lead to jealous thoughts or accusations.

Don’t be afraid to ask questions in order to stop being jealous

When all else fails, don’t be afraid to talk to your girlfriend about how you’re feeling. Of course, you need to make sure you’re not coming at her accusing her of anything, so there’s an approach and strategy to doing this.

Sure, you might be jealous she’s not giving you enough attention, but instead of making a big deal out of it, just tell her how you feel without assuming something’s going on. Playing the victim before talking is a good way to get into a nasty fight. Simply say you’re a little confused or hurt that she didn’t seem to talk to you as much as other people last night, or that it seems she’s giving attention elsewhere. Yes, this requires letting down your guard — as mentioned above.

No matter where you’re at in your relationship together, she should be able to put to rest any jealous feelings you have by apologizing for making you feel that way, reassuring your that she didn’t mean anything by it, and then the two of you can move on from it. But make sure this doesn’t become a common theme for you or lead to a heart-to-heart where you’re going back-and-forth pointing the finger at one another, because that’s not healthy at all.