You’ve probably heard all sorts of things about dating in the workplace. Mostly people saying things like “Dont’!” but the fact is a huge percentage of relationships start between coworkers. It’s a bit of a mine field of dos and don’ts however, but here’s my advice for “How do I ask my coworker out?”

office romance holding hands

So you’ve locked eyes on someone at the office, and you think “Wow, this is it. This is love.” They’re pretty. They’re good at their job. They look really good in that office wear. You want to just go right up to them and ask them out for a drink. My advice would to firstly cool your head down and take the situation in.

Have you known them for long? If it’s a new person who’s just joined, then I would say take your time to see how your feelings progress. In the drab monotony of the workplace, crushes often form as a way of distraction. Make sure you’re really into them for reals before doing anything rash.

Secondly, try to gauge their level of interest in you. This could be by opening up to a fellow coworker and talking to them about what they think. You can also watch the way they interact with you personally, and can even drop subtle hints in conversation at your own interest in them.

Be careful not to come full on with flirting though, as if they’re not interested in you the actions could be seen as sexual harassment, and you know how much HR likes that. I would say that in the environment of a workplace, patience can only be a virtue.

When it comes to actually asking them out, and you find your confidence is faltering, don’t resort to using the office email. Firstly, it’s not as romantic as Bridget Jones would have you believe, and secondly, it’s very unprofessional. If you don’t think you can ask them out for a drink by themselves, then maybe organise an afterwork bar trip with a few of your coworkers. Try to talk to them a lot then, and after that it should be easier to ask them out again.

Asking them out for drinks after work is probably one of the easiest ways to get to know them. Another option could be just asking them to join you for lunch one day, which is  little more impromptu and has less pressure. You can either then tell them straight away about your interest in them, or wait for a couple more “dates”.