A cheating relationship is, for good reasons, looked at as a negative, with people assuming that one (or both) people in the relationship are being selfish and self-fulfilling. While that’s often true, we can’t help but wonder if cheating can actually be good for a relationship?

We know what you’re probably thinking; are you high? Have you gone mad? Are you trying to over up your own infidelity by convincing yourself it wasn’t wrong? No. Maybe. Nope.

When people think about a cheating relationship, the first thing that often comes to mind is probably unhappiness. That’s because when a person cheats on his/her partner, it often means that that person isn’t satisfied with how the relationship is going. That can mean lack of communication, sex, or just no longer being attracted to their current partner. And, when cheating happens, it squashes the most important part of a relationship; trust.

Still, we can’t help but wonder if cheating can be a good thing for a relationship, and we’re giving a few reasons why it might be — although, trust us, we would never tell you to give it a try for yourself.

Builds communication

One of the major reasons people cheat in the first place is because of poor communication, so this may be confusing to list as the first reason why cheating can be a good thing. Hear us out, though, because, after a partner cheats, it’s only natural for guilt to set in. Assuming he/she admits to the cheating relationship, that’s the first sign of forgiveness and honesty, which can lead to stronger communication if the current relationship is able to stay together.

It identifies bigger issues

Let’s just assume you cheat on your girlfriend and she does the right thing by throwing you to the curb. We have a hunch that, even though you engaged in a cheating relationship, you’re still going to be hurt by getting broken up with — it’s human nature, guys. Now’s the time to go get help and talk to a therapist to better yourself, because, clearly, your decision to cheat impacted someone you cared about. When you do this, therapy can help you figure out why you did it and what the root is behind the choices you made in a relationship; like why you were unhappy or why you were more guarded.

It inspires a new relationship

Sure, some people live by the motto, “once a cheater, always a cheater,” but, for those who address the cheating partner and really wants to help him/her better themselves to keep the relationship going, it can lead to a new relationship. That’s right, after therapy — both as couples and individuals — a new relationship can be sparked, showing one another how important the other is. Every relationship takes a lot of work, and, after someone cheats, sometimes it can inspire both people to fight for things to work even more.

It’s not for your happiness

Curveball: What if you’re the person a married girl is cheating on her husband with? First of all, it’s not your place to judge her for the decision to cheat. Second, it’s important to nurture her and listen to her. Cheating can be a one-time deal where sex occurs, or it could be an ongoing relationship, fulfilling a need lacking in her marriage/relationship. People don’t necessarily cheat because of lack of sex, they do it because the emotional connection is slipping away, so it’s important to understand this and play the role of a friend with benefits, providing her the emotional connection she’s looking for outside of her relationship.

It is also interesting to see how different nations perceive cheating, like the French for example.