Dating isn’t something that most of us look forward to doing on a regular basis. Sure, it has its perks — like, potentially, meeting someone we like and, of course, sex — but the entire process can be stressful AF. From first dates to the awkward defining the relationship conversation, dating can be worse than going to a crappy job every day.
That said, we’re here to tell you about one thing that’s really grinding our gears when it comes to dating — window shopping. We know it sounds weird, but so many people (both guys and girls) seem to complain about how they’re still single and all of their friends are either in a relationship, married or have kids. There seems to be envy and a little regret that they, themselves, don’t have it. Well, it might be because they’re window shopping, afraid of what might be right in front of them.
Look, lots, if not all, of us are guilty of this type of dating technique at some point in our lives. After all, we’re humans, so we’re curious, we feed of other peoples’ energy, we’re attracted to the random stranger and we’re all, deep down, hopeless romantics.
Too many people treat their dating life like their work life, where they’re unsatisfied and looking for the next best thing. That’s not the best approach if you’re serious about finding a partner, and, because of that, we’re here to give you a few reasons why this window shopping way of dating needs to change, and why, when it does, you’ll find some serious happiness.
There isn’t always something better
Some people believe in the whole “grass is greener” belief, but that’s just not the case, guys. In fact, in many cases, it’s the opposite. Think about it, when you land a job that pays well and gives you 85 percent of what you’re looking for, why would you possibly grow unsatisfied and start job-hunting again a mere months after accepting it? Same goes for dating. When you’ve got someone who checks off a lot of the boxes you’re looking for (maybe not all of them), why continue to look for someone else? There’s a reason you’ve been single all this time, and this may be the biggest problem you keep making.
Your talents and skills aren’t what you always think
We’re not here to put you down; we know you’ve got talents, can be charming and love a challenge of a good task. Problem is, as you’ve aged, some of your skills may have gotten a little sloppy — or fallen off completely. That’s OK, as we’re all constantly changing. Problem is, you need to eliminate the thought that you’re the same person you were 10 years ago. You may no longer be the 20-something who used to get blackout drunk at the bar and get a bunch of numbers. You may not be as good of a communicator as you think. There are lots of factors, but the last thing you should to do is put yourself above someone else or think they don’t match what you bring to the table. Chances are they can.
You’re trying to hard to be perfect
Afraid of messing up at work for fear of being yelled at by your boss or, worse, being fired? That’s normal, as we all want to do a job well done. But, guess what, mistakes happen, and, most of the time, no one dies because of them. In a relationship, same thing applies. Rather than be someone you’re not by catering to a person or people by saying what they want to hear, try opening yourself up and letting them see the real you. It’s only then that they can truly judge for themselves if this is something they want — and vice versa. Nobody’s perfect, remember that.
Stop complaining about the small things
Sure, you hate the small things that your significant other does, but, guess what, she thinks you’ve got tendencies that are annoying, too! At work, there are small tasks that nobody really wants to do, but still need to get done in order to be successful. Accepting these small things, weaknesses or insecurities in a relationship are important to take the step towards being committed, understanding that, sometimes, the small things are often bigger issues in our own minds.
You’re afraid to work
Whether you’re afraid to do the work the right way, or unsure if you’re qualified to do the job, for whatever reason, you just don’t want to put forth the effort. This obviously applies to both work and relationships, with people continuing to look around for a new job because they think they’ll have life easier in the office. Likewise, people continue looking for the “perfect match” of a partner for much of the same reason, thinking that the next girl will be less dramatic, more involved, prettier, etc. If you sat and looked at what’s in front of you, you may find that it’s actually the best option for you to be happy.