Friends with benefits is often the easy way of getting out of any serious relationship. You know, it’s not a bad thing, but it usually means that one or both people are either afraid of commitment, want a partner to be with, but not something too serious, just want the physical side of things without the emotional side, or all of the above.
Now, to each is own, so no judgment here, but as someone whose had his fair share of friends with benefits relationships before, they get a little complicated after awhile. Sure, they’re fun and allow each person to remain single, technically, without feeling guilty meeting or going out with other people, or sleeping with someone else.
However, in case you didn’t already know this, we’re human, and it’s in our nature to nurture one another and let our emotional sides get the best of us. So, just when you think you and a girl are both cool hooking up and having some breakfast together the next morning, one of you will, inevitably, start showing more feelings and get attached. That’s just how it usually goes, so you should know this before getting into a friends with benefits relationship.
Need even more proof of all of this? Well, our good friends over at Your Tango recently published a piece about how friends with benefits relationships typically end up. As you might imagine, they don’t usually end in the best of ways.
According to the research, which included two separate studies, 191 people completed two online surveys that were one year apart, with participants being 70 percent female, and the average age being 30 years old. Each participant also knew the person they were having a friends with benefits relationship with for three years prior to the study.
The first survey was about expectations from the casual relationship, their satisfaction being in one and all the communication both people have about the boundaries. The second survey focused on how these relationships may have changed in the year.
What the results showed were that, within that one-year window, 25 percent of friends with benefits couples maintained that relationship, 15 percent took the relationship to a more romantic level, 28 percent remained friends but quit hooking up and 31 percent completely cut things off with. Even worse, of the 15 percent that took things to a romantic level, only 15 percent of those couples were successful.
So, what does all this mean for you and your current, or future, friends with benefits relationships? Well, you both better know what the hell you’re getting yourselves into before diving into one, because, if you’re looking for a serious relationship, finding someone who has both the emotional and physical connection towards you is important — but it probably won’t be coming from the friend you’ve known for a long time. We know, it’s kind of a bummer, but, hey, there are plenty of strangers out there just waiting for you to meet them.