Online dating apps have long-been popular, with people using them to find love, land dates and, maybe more so, get themselves laid. While swiping, matching and messaging a bunch of strangers is fun and all, as it turns out, it can be exhausting, causing burnout with users because it’s just too much to keep up with in their busy lives.
Don’t believe us? Well, according to a piece from UK’s Independent, young people who are using these online dating apps — AKA millennials — are feeling unsatisfied from the services, and are deciding to move away from them to get back to (surprise) meeting someone more naturally.
This makes plenty of sense, because, if you’ve ever been on one of the many online dating apps out there, you know that the pool of people (eventually) dries up or just gets recycled. People who go through break-ups just get right back on there, and you experience a weird moment of deja vu by matching with people you did years ago. It can be boring. It can be frustrating. It can be a waste of time.
Making matters worse, online dating apps aren’t what they used to be years ago when they first got popular, when users could swipe for hours and score tons of matches who actually used the app and replied. These days, because businesses needs to make money, those who don’t pay for online dating apps’ services are limiting themselves, with users unsure if their matches are legit or bots.
Finally, there’s such a stigma around online dating apps that it can be embarrassing to tell friends or family that you met your girlfriend or future wife on there. Let’s get this straight, there’s nothing wrong with using them, but many people constantly swipe to build up their own ego, ignoring messages and, instead, just looking for someone who markets themselves better in their profile and appears more attractive. Plus, there’s the whole perception that online dating apps are “just for hooking up,” whether that’s fair or not. And, now, that frustration seems to have become more universal.
Like any fad or trend, online dating apps seem to be the latest that have lost their luster of late. While the aforementioned reasons are all factors, there are other things that play a role in it, too.
According to a Men’s Health piece, as of 2018, there were an estimated 4.97 million Americans on online dating apps, with the most popular still being Tinder. A cause of burnout for many of the users? The endless pile of strangers’ selfies and underwhelming one-night stand requests. This has led millennials who are serious about finding a relationship to turn to some other alternatives, like matchmaking, setups and, yep, even personal ads.
With all the information we’ve already referenced, it’s no wonder why young people are giving up on swiping and becoming to take dating a little bit more seriously. Here’s what Tina Wilson, the CEO and founder of the matchmaking app Wingman, had to say about her experience, which, eventually, led her to starting her own dating company.
“The online dating thing never came naturally to me. I found the experience quite overwhelming.”
“Trying to describe myself for a profile gave me anxiety, and trying to highlight my best bits just felt a little out of character for me.” Wilson says she was frustrated by “generic” profiles on swiping apps that made it difficult to “get a sense of who a person really was.” It was difficult to identify and filter out the guys who might not be right for her. “Left to my own devices, I didn’t always pick the right matches for myself,” she says.
Dating can be difficult, as people get busy, flake out on plans or just become uninterested for whatever reasons. When you meet someone on an online dating app, it can be even more frustrating because you know they’re swiping nonstop, casually having fun a lot of times, and refusing to focus on really getting to know you. That’s their prerogative, but it’s led to a generation of unhappy and judgmental daters.
Since dating shouldn’t feel like a job, millennials who are giving up on online dating apps have become more active in finding a partner in some of the other ways we’ve mentioned earlier, which gives them more time to actually meet and get to know a person. It’s refreshing to be off your phone all the time, too.
Will online dating apps ever completely disappear? Probably not, as people know it’s a surefire way to pass time and have some sort of sensory overload. If they happen to match, message, meet and date someone from one, great.
However, as more millennials find that these online dating apps aren’t providing what they need any longer, more and more will move to a better personal option — whether that’s meeting someone out at a bar, through friends or through a matchmaking service — giving these hopeful daters an alternative to swiping on all those online dating apps all day long. It’s kind of refreshing.