Setting for someone can be a sign that a relationship is doomed before it even gets started. That’s right, we said it. And, far too often, both guys and girls are settling for people that they don’t necessarily see a future with, but keep around because they like certain aspects of the relationship.
Hey, many of us are guilty of doing this, so it’s not as if we’re singling out a few people here. After all, we’re human, we love attention and affection and all that other stuff that comes with having someone by our side. However, that doesn’t mean that settling for anything less than what you want should be OK. In fact, it should be avoided at all costs.
To help you get over that need to have someone, anyone around, we’re giving you six things that you need to stop doing right now to avoid settling. Many of these are mental challenges, with you refocusing on what’s important to you in a partner, and making sure you find someone who checks off all the boxes. C’mon, you deserve the best person, so we’re here to help you find her.
Don’t settle for someone who won’t stand up for you
As someone who has personally been in a relationship where an ex-girlfriend didn’t stand up for me when friends questioned things, this one hits home — and it created tension and bitterness from me towards her, questioning our entire relationship. A healthy relationship means a being a team, and not allowing outside opinions influence the way you or your partner thinks.
Don’t settle for someone who isn’t honest
This should be an absolute no-brainer, as honesty is one of the most important traits in any healthy relationship. Sure, a little white lie doesn’t hurt — like telling your girl she looks pretty every morning, even if she looks rough as hell and her breath stinks — but don’t allow yourself to date anyone who is dishonest in things they do. Lack of honesty will lead to lack of trust and then respect, which will cause the relationship to deteriorate quickly.
Don’t settle for the first person who gives you attention
It’s easy to go for the first girl who eats up your flirty ways, making you think that she’s the one who you’re supposed to focus on. But be cautious with that approach, because there’s a good chance it has more to do with you than her being all that special. You saw an opportunity and went with it, but what if you had done the same thing last week at the coffee shop with that pretty girl who you thought gave off good energy? Maybe that girl is a better match with you, but you never took the chance, and now you’re settling for someone who just meets the status quo.
Don’t settle for someone who doesn’t treat you as you treat them
We mentioned the word respect earlier, and it can be used here as well. For all those girls who complain about wanting a good guy who surprises them and treats them like a princess and is emotionally involved, it sure seems like they ruin it by taking advantage of the situation. If this is the case, you’re settling, and you deserve better than being with someone who isn’t going to do all the things you do for them.
Don’t settle for someone who makes you feel bad about yourself
Yes, relationships take work and sacrifice. You know what they don’t take? Changing the other person to better fit what you ultimately want to be dating. For instance, you may be super outgoing and enjoy talking to people, and there’s a good chance your partner knows this before committing to a relationship with you. However, as you get more serious, your outgoing nature becomes more of a problem, leaving her jealous and upset because it comes across as flirting. When she tries to change this about you, you’ve officially settled, my friend, because she should like you for you.
Don’t settle for someone who questions a future together
We’re not saying that every girl you date should be considered a candidate to become your Mrs. one day, but if you’re willing to commit to her, that’s normally a sign that you’re really into her. It takes a lot for guys to be vulnerable and open up about their feelings, and, when men do it, if there’s a question in her mind about a future together, you need to take a step back and avoid getting in too deep, otherwise you’ll both be settling and resentment can creep in down the road.