Stand up if you’ve ever found yourself hornier than a teenage boy, but being turned down because your girl just isn’t feeling sexy time with you. OK, chances are all of you dudes are out of your seats, because that’s a common occurrence for couples, no matter how new or old the relationship is.

Here’s the thing, though, there are actually some ways on how to get her in the mood for sex, it just takes some understanding and a little charm. Sure, persistence helps, too, but you don’t want to force her to have sex with you, that’s a no no for so many reasons.

Look, all guys are horny AF all the time and would happily take sex all day long. But because our female counterparts don’t always share the same enthusiasm, we’re telling you how to get her in the mood for sex without being too aggressive.

Shower her with compliments

Whether she’s too tired, feels too ugly or hates the way she’s feeling, there’s always a reason why girls just aren’t in the mood for sex. Thing is, most of them have to do with how they feel about themselves, not how they feel about you. When this happens, it’s time for you to really turn on the charm and not show frustration, reminding her how sexy she looks when she’s wearing booty shorts or a plain white tank top. The compliments should be specific, not things that are generic and not in the moment, so to speak. Make her feel sexy and she’ll be all about the idea of bumping uglies.

Kiss all of her hot spots

In addition to complimenting her, make sure you know all the spots she wants to be kissed. These include the neck, the collarbone and, of course, the lips. Who cares if she’s got morning breath and is worried that you’ll be grossed out by it, prove her wrong and suck on that lower lip of hers, showing her that you find her sexy no matter what. Once you hit some of these trigger areas on her body, she’ll instantly feel a little more energy to have sex.

Be honest about it

No gimmicks, just straight up honesty. Tell her how stressful things have been for you at work and how, deep down, all you really want is a hardcore sex sesh with your girl, where you both can forget about things for a little bit. Not stress related? Just tell her how you really just think she looks sexy in that very moment, and how you want to rip her clothes off right then and there. Take initiative and skip all the negotiation, just be honest with her.

Spoil her in ways you normally don’t

In addition to kissing all those hot spots we mentioned above, make sure you do some other things that will get her blood flowing and her hormones humming. That means you need to come prepared with touching her on the right spots and focusing on areas that you might not normally — like rubbing or kissing her inner thighs, slapping or grabbing her ass, or lightly rubbing her clit over the outside of her jeans. She may be bored with the same routine, so get her in the mood by giving some extra love to different spots on her body.

Be adventurous and do it somewhere random

Similar to the whole being bored thing mentioned above, have you ever thought that she may just dislike having sex in the same spots over and over? Sure, the bed might be the most comfortable, but she may want to try it in the shower, or when she’s bent over the kitchen table or couch. To help her get in the mood for sex, don’t be afraid to be a little more adventurous, offering some ideas that make her mind go to a very dirty and exciting place.