Being used by someone is a miserable feeling, but, if it’s happening to you, it’s best to get out of whatever relationship you’re in and move on. That may actually be more difficult for you to pull the trigger to do, but it’s better than wasting time, money, energy and resources on someone who’s not reciprocating it.
Here’s the think about being used, though; it’s not just for money when it happens. Sure, that’s where most of our minds go to when we think about those two words, “being used,” but people take advantage of others for a number of different reasons, and they’re not all financial.
For instance, one of my ex-girlfriends wasn’t necessarily the most emotionally stable person around. While I tried my best to lift her up and remind her how great she was, most of the time, it didn’t help, as she constantly battled her own insecurities that, ultimately, led to me breaking up with her. All my positivity in the word couldn’t help her, but, for whatever reason, it felt like she was using me to at least try to love herself.
While being used comes from all sorts of angles, the signs of the person who’s giving more are pretty universal. That’s why we’re giving you some signs to look for when you have that feeling that something’s just not right, and you think that you’re being used more than you deserve.
You’re being used if you have no say in things
This should be one of the first signs you’re being used, because, while you want to give a little bit on respect her feelings or opinions, when it’s only her calling the shots, it’s clear that you’re being walked all over. So now it’s time to make a decision on what you really want to do.
Sure, relationships take sacrifices, that’s a given. But if you find yourself catering to her requests more often than her giving you much in return, sorry to say it, my friend, but you’re being walked all over. Time to analyze if this is the type of girl you want to try and maintain something with, or cut things off and move one from.
You’re being used if her friends don’t know you
If she’s hiding you from her friends or family, there’s a very good chance you’re being used for something other than a real relationship. Sorry to break the news to you, but that’s just a matter of fact given her noncommittal behavior here.
When you’re in a relationship, part of what’s fun is sharing and growing friendships, mixing groups together and bragging about your partner. When she’s not doing that, it’s usually a sign that she’s enjoying time with you alone, but doesn’t think of you when you two are away from one another. Whether it’s because she’s not getting your shoulder to rest on, sex, money or attention, among other things, there’s something that’s making her refuse to introduce you to her people.
You’re being used if you question how she feels about you
Sure, we’ve probably all had doubts about our girlfriend’s feelings before, but when it becomes a regular routine for you, are you really happy with where you’re at in the relationship? This has more to do with you than her, we get that, but it’s something you need to be aware of, because it can drive you crazy trying to identify, ultimately leading to jealousy and/or being too territorial.
If you have a gut feeling that you’re being used for something and she’s not giving anything back, you’re probably right. It’s tough to accept because, well, egos and all that, but you need to be honest with yourself — after all, these are your emotions we’re talking about here.
You’re being used if she’s taking but never giving
Does your girl reward you when you do something nice for her? Does she get overly upset if you don’t give her something that she might be expecting? If these sound familiar, you’re probably being used and you just don’t want to admit it.
Sure, surprising your girl with flowers after she got a work promotion is great; especially if it leads to some wild sex that night. It’s even better when you just give her something because you care about her; which also leads to some wild sex. But if she gets upset with you when you don’t do these things, but rewards you when you do, she’s not giving many signs that she’s as into this relationship as you are.
You’re being used if she says she needs space
Ever find yourself in a position where you’ve got a flakey girl who goes back and forth with you, constantly playing tug of war with both of your emotions? Probably sounds a little bit familiar, right? Well, if you’ve been here before, you’re definitely being used.
Right when you think things are good and you’ve “solved” her out, she pushes you away and treats you like someone she’s just casually dating, not her significant other. And, right when you think you’re fine and you’re ready to just move on, she tries to pull you back in to fulfill something she needs.
You need to stand your ground and avoid giving in, because it’s unfair for her to take so much without giving anything. Sure, it’s great to be in a relationship with someone, but not when they treat you like some random guy who’s weighing her other options anytime the two of you aren’t together.