Here’s how to win back your ex-girlfriend. Relationships are so complicated. At first they’re great, then they go downhill, you break up and before you realise you’ve lost the best thing in your life. In these desperate time you need this guide.

Rule #1 on how to win back your ex-girlfriend is to stop and think about your situation first. So many people that want to get back together with their ex, do it straight away after a break-up. Emotions are running high, you’re suddenly faced with the prospect of being alone, and it’s too easy to call her back 5 minutes after you’ve left.

But this isn’t going to help anyone. So sit back, relax, and really think about the situation. The most important thing to do immediately after a break-up is to give yourself space. At the very minimum this needs to be a couple of weeks. On the other hand, there’s no time limit on deciding you want to get back with an ex-girlfriend either. It could have been a couple of weeks or a couple of years.

Me time

The first step to getting her back is taking some “Me Time” for yourself. This is the time for you to reflect on yourself as well as your relationship. You need to get yourself to a place where you’re happy. Because decisions made when you’re depressed are rarely well thought out.

This is a great time to work out. Start going to the gym, start jogging in the morning, or join a sports team. Exercise is the perfect way to work through any negative emotions you have. It’s good for your body, and it pumps all the right kind of endorphins through you. It’ll get you into shape too, bonus!

Try out anything you’ve been wanting to before but never had the time to. This could be anything from catching up with old friends to learning a new language. It should be something just for you. It’s self-improvement, and trust me, it’s an important step in the master plan.

Look at your history

We need to really look at your relationship and why it failed the first time. We also need to look at why you want to get the relationship back together. Here’s a list of things you need to ask yourself.

  • Who broke up with who?
  • What were the reasons?
  • Why do you want to get back together?
  • Do you think it’ll work out this time?
  • Is this what you want?

By finding out the reasons it failed before, we can look at how to make sure that doesn’t happen again. If it was her that broke up with you, you need to find out what you did wrong and decide if you’re able to fix those problems.

If non of the problems are fixable then even if you get back together it will only fail again. It’s going to take work. So really, really ask yourself. Is this what you want? Can you put in the work needed to make it work?

How to win back your ex-girlfriend

You’ve thought about it. You’ve given her space, you’ve given yourself “Me Time”. Now it’s time to show her you’ve changed and that getting back together is the right thing to do.

The key to doing this is to be casual. Guys can come on too strong and that pressure will frighten her away. It’s a slow and steady sort of deal.

Invite your ex-girlfriend out for a coffee or lunch. The “date” should be in the daytime, somewhere very normal and not romantic. This is the first time you’ve seen her in a while. You need to show her you’ve changed, but without making it seem obvious.

Ask her about herself. Update each other on your lives. Casually mention your new exercise routine and new hobbies. It’s a good way to show her you’ve improved and matured. It puts you in a better light and makes you more desirable.

It’d during this date that you need to really asses the situation. Is she as amazing as you remember? Do you really want to get back with her? If so, ask her out again on an equally casual date. The casual dates should go on for a while, hanging out without any sense of romantic pressure.

Turning things up

On the third casual date or so you can start to be more romantic. Show up to your park stroll with flowers. Remember to compliment her. Listen to her. Small romantic gestures are now safer to play, such as giving her your jacket when she’s cold.

If things are still going well, you can suggest more romantic date ideas. An evening film. Dinner somewhere nice. Don’t mention going back to either of your houses though. Sex should not feature anywhere yet.

At one of the more intimate dates, such as dinner, bring up the fact you want to get back together. You need to be open and honest to her. Explain why you think it’s a good idea, how you’ve changed, and why you think it’ll work out this time. If she needs time to respond that’s ok as well. Be gentlemanly and mature. You need to show her your worth the risk.

If things go well and you get back together, remember the real hard work starts now. You need to make sure you keep her this time. Good luck!