One of our favorite things to write about each day happen to be dating tips. Sure, they can be taken lightly or with a grain of salt, but, at the end of the day, if we can help even a handful of guys increase their confidence and do other things to feel more attractive, that’s all that matters.

Since one thing guys worry about the most when it comes to dating is their weight and/or physical appearance, we figured it’d be helpful today to give a few dating tips for those heftier fellas. But, before deep-diving into them, remember this — not all girls want some buff meathead who spends five hours a day at the gym.

We know it can be difficult, for some, to be overweight, constantly comparing yourself to other people and, at times, ashamed. But, for those who might be experiencing those kinds of feelings, stop, embrace yourself and know that you’ll find someone and make them happy once you can be happy with yourself.

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, here are a few dating tips to be knowledgeable about, because we want you to have great success with the ladies — but it’s all up to you to do it.

It starts with YOU

We know, it’s cliche to say that your happiness, ultimately, starts and ends with you. But, in every single case ever, that is the absolute truth.

For those overweight guys who are struggling to find girls to date, understand that, like every guy, you’re going to take some losses on your search, but it’s the wins that will feel best. So, rather than get down if a girl ghosts you or stands you up or just blatantly turns you down while talking to her, understand that it’s because of her, not because of you. All you can be is yourself, and that’s important to know.

Girls like all types of guys

I’ll never forget watching an episode of Inside the Actor’s Guild years ago that featured Tom Hanks. A hopeful actor in the crowd asked a question to Hanks about being an overweight and balding guy, and was worried that, because of his appearance, he was at risk of being denied for roles. Hanks replied by saying something like this: Rejection is part of showbiz, no matter who you are. And, just when you think your dream is over, some casting director will be looking for a talented, overweight and balding guy to play a part, and you might just be there at the right time.

That stood out to me for a lot of reasons, because, much like that example, girls like all different types of guys, it just comes down to meeting the right person at the right time.

It’s all about personality

We used that photo of Chris Farley doing the whole “fat guy in a little coat” bit for a reason — because he, like other male actors who are/were overweight — had a killer personality that entertained people. And, it’s because of that personality, humor and his wit, that he was so successful at being himself.

Much like Farley, and more current male actors like Zach Galifinakis, among others, overweight guys shouldn’t compare themselves to other guys. Really, no one should, but for those men out there worrying that girls aren’t interested because they’re heftier, this rings even more true.

Focus on your personality and be yourself. Whether that’s funny, serious, smart, whatever, when you’re comfortable in your own skin, you exude confidence — and it’s confidence that girls love most.

Be the change you want to see

It’s an old adage, but being the change that you want to see is as simple as it gets. Sure, that can be relating to other things in the world, but, in this case, it’s important to relate it to your confidence and any insecurities you have about being overweight.

For instance, if you get down on yourself and just can’t seem to shake it off, try joining a gym — and own it! Who cares if you’re going at a beginner’s pace on the treadmill or are a bit intimidated lifting next to guys who are beasts, if you really can’t love yourself while overweight, make the necessary steps to make changes to be happier.

We would encourage you to embrace yourself no matter what, but, if push comes to shove and you struggle with it, changing and adapting in a way that will make you most comfortable is totally OK. After all, we should be doing something each day to proactively get better.