It might seem extremely juvenile to think that, of all the sex tips and wild things we often give you guys, we’re telling you how to be a good kisser today. But, look, not all kissing is created equal, as some people are too sloppy, other people are too tense and others are used to giving chicken pecks that feel like you’re kissing a newborn baby on the head.
Yes, having a girl brag about how good you are at oral sex is much better for the ego, but, trust us, when a girl describes how much she gets turned on by kissing you, that should leave you more satisfied. There’s just something about being a good kisser that feels good for the soul. It’s a badge of honor. It’s the guy who knows he has “it,” and, when he finds that girl he wants to take home, he can use his lips to his advantage and, by the end of the night, his good kissing can lead to other sexual things.
But what makes a good kisser? Is it important to understand how to be a good kisser? We turned to our friends over at Cosmo magazine, who talked to 12 girls to describe what makes a good kisser, with each girl offering up a few tips for guys to understand and, hopefully apply. Take notes, boys, because this is crucial info.
Keep those lips moisturized
“To be a good kisser first you have to make sure your lips are moisturized. This is a minor step with major impact on the entire process. You can always tell when someone has dry cracked lips and it can ruin the entire mood. Good kissers do more than kiss, they also hold your waist or touch the side of your face. When in the process of kissing you want to start off slow, with small pecks. Then, you can add more lip locking and move forward to rubbing your tongue toward the roof of the person’s mouth. You can also get playful and lick their tongue or grab it gently with your lips. You want it be effortless, so you don’t notice there is an exchange of saliva. Different people kiss in different ways; good kissers are able to pick up on the rhythm of the other person so you guys aren’t bumping heads, or teeth. Don’t think about it too much, just go with the flow.” — Philtrina, 23
Good kissing is all about energy
“A good kiss should feel like you’re having a conversation. If you’re slowing down, if you start slipping tongue, and your kissing partner responds to that and matches your pace, then you can play off of that! If you slow down and your partner speeds up, you can respond to that by meeting them halfway, or speeding up to meet their energy, whichever you’re feeling. Also, great kissers use their teeth — light biting of lips, jumping over to ears — is so awesome. But if your partner is using teeth in the sense your teeth are knocking against each other, I would leave ASAP and not even feel bad about it. ” — Ali, 23
Bite that lower lip and tease
“I love to kiss. I feel like it’s a beautiful, intimate way to connect with someone and express your passion. I like to kiss with my whole mouth: I love to bite my partner’s lips and to use my tongue to lick all of their teeth. I like when my partner spits in my mouth. The key to kissing well is interest. You have to be focused on the task at hand. You have to want to kiss. The mouth is such an intimate part of the body, it’s kind of gross and full of germs and smells and ephemera from the weird fun size snickers you decided to eat after breakfast, but you have to want the person so badly that you want all of their grossness inside of you. — Laura, 28
Follow her signs and don’t be sloppy
“The most basic thing that makes someone a good kisser is paying attention! What I like personally, of course, differs from what other people like, but say if you’re constantly trying to use your tongue and I’m not opening my mouth it should be obvious I don’t wanna french right now. Try to not just be “leading,” so you can get a sense of what they like in how they kiss you—but also don’t just “follow” because then you don’t seem interested. Also be situationally appropriate; a peck before hopping on the subway is super cute, something sloppy is not. Even if you’re “good” at kissing, if you only have one setting it’s awkward to work around. Bad kissing is coming at someone like they’re food or like you’re attacking them. Being too sloppy is also bad—my mouth shouldn’t be entirely in your mouth, I shouldn’t feel the need to wipe my lips, etc. Kissing is a rare area where more lubrication is not better. ” — Syd, 26
Take your time and don’t rush it
“I like when the person I’m kissing isn’t very forceful, and when we fall into a natural rhythm of head tilts/smooches. I don’t like a lot of tongue, but some tongue when timed right can be perfection. I also like to lightly bite their lower lip, or for them to bite mine! It’s so sexy and makes things more intimate. I think I’m a good kisser because I don’t put a bunch of effort into the kissing. It should feel natural but not like you’re just sitting there receiving the kissing. The key is to relax your mouth enough to just mesh your mouth with the other person’s. Take your time as well — there is no reason to rush and each kiss should feel like you mean it!.” — Sarah, 21
To see what all 12 girls said were important in order to be a good kisser, head on over to Cosmo. Trust us, knowing how to be a good kisser will definitely benefit your sex life, guys — even if it does seem juvenile.