Dirty talk can either intensify a sexual experience or turn it into something out of a cheesy 70’s porn movie. I’ll show some creative ways to express your innermost desires and heighten the sexual experience for both you and your partner… without getting you laughed out of bed. Let’s talk dirty!

Dirty talk will keep your partner thinking about you, can be incredibly hot and arousing, and can build good sexual tension that will prevent a relationship from getting boring. Knowing some essential tactics can demystify this powerful tool and allow you to express yourself in a creative way that will lead to amazing sex. Here’s how to spice things up!

1) Things to avoid when it comes to dirty talk

If you know what to avoid, then you can be confident that whatever you say will result in total bliss…or at least not result in you sleeping alone on the couch.

  • The first rule of dirty talk

The first rule of dirty talk is that you do not talk about dirty talk! Talking about it in an academic way, like “Shall we try some dirty talk” would almost certainly drain all the sexiness out of it right?. And if it is your partner with the potty mouth, never bring it up afterwards. What is said when one is under the influence deep sexual desire should remain there, or else you risk embarrassing them.  

  • Don’t be harsh

Don’t be demeaning by telling your partner they’re not doing something right. If they’re not touching the right place, going too fast or petting too heavy, you can say “mmm good but slower”, or gently take their hand and say “oh yeah touch me here”  instead of “don’t do that”. If they’re not doing it right, you can always reset things by changing position and pleasuring them, then you can control the action more without causing embarrassment.

  • No insults

Derogatory words, calling her a bitch or worse (unless she clearly mentions that she likes it!) are a big NO. You do want to see your partner again right? Dirty talk is about the expression of sexual desire and satisfaction. It doesn’t have to be swearing and utter filth, and it certainly isn’t about being mean!

  • Cut the cheese

Using cheesy lines risks your partner bursting into laughter instead of getting hot under the collar.  “I want to shoot you with my love gun” anyone? And who can forget the American Pie classic “Suck me beautiful!”. But there’s no doubt that innuendo can be funny, and is a great way to break the ice. Do be careful not to get too creative though. Sexting your lover that you are looking forward to “defragging her hard drive later”…might actually make her excited that you will be…ummm… actually freeing up the disk space on her laptop.

  • Space

Avoid talking too much. Leave some space for natural moans of pleasure and whimpering. Don’t get too preoccupied with what you’re saying, or else you risk taking your partner out of their zone.

  • Don’t sweat it

Finally, don’t worry about the result and don’t try to be anything you’re not. Remember that this is to make things, even more, sexier and help you lose your self in the vortex of sexual pleasure. If you are enjoying yourself then it’s a good sign that your lover will be too.

2) Simplicity is key

Tell them how sexy you find them, shout out their name repeatedly, tell them how good they smell. You love how soft or firm a part of their body is? Say it!. Tell your partner you love the way they taste or feel. Everybody loves to be told that they taste amazing. Creativity should always be fun and stimulating, so don’t get lost in being overcomplicated. Things that make your lover feel aroused, that’s what your going for.

Also be sure to tell your partner what you want! Everybody wants to be a good lover! And when they do it, you should let them know. Again and again. Louder. “keep going” “oh it feels so good” “I love it when you touch me here” “you are damn amazing”. You don’t have to use swear words, but sometimes they are the most effective form of expression.

3) Whisper in their ear

Sometimes the quieter something is said, the louder it is felt. Nothing is sexier than someone whispering in your ear how much you turn them on. Plus you don’t have to wake your neighbours!

4) Eye Contact

Eyes are the beholders of the soul. Look your partner deep in their eyes and speak your sweet nothings. Watching you getting turned on will, in turn, turn your partner on and vice versa. When you see that naughty look in each other’s eyes, the dirty talk will flow naturally.

5) Sexting: The Before and After

Once you’ve established that you and your partner are into dirty talk, you can now start to use it at any time to help create anticipation. Have you arranged a date or a night in together? Sexting is a great way to get the engine started even while you are still at work. It can be something as simple as sending a sexy text message like “I can’t stop thinking about you”, “you’re making me so horny I can’t focus at work! Gonna lose my job ;-)” or the classic “I can’t wait to tear your underwear off tonight!”.  Now you’re both thinking about each other and the anticipation is getting built up. The more sexual tension that you create, the more the fireworks when you eventually do get to each other!

Also, it’s not over because it’s over. After you’ve left you can always send a text telling her how much she turns you on, and how great the sex was.

So now you know how easy it is and what to avoid, get in there and go for it! And always remember the first rule of dirty talk, you do not talk about dirty talk! Good luck!