If you’re worried about having a cheating girlfriend, you’re definitely not alone. As someone who thinks, but isn’t sure, that his ex was doing something sketchy, I can tell you firsthand just how much the thought of your girl cheating is. Whether that’s emotional or physical, it always hurts, and it can consume you.

For guys who might think he’s got a cheating girlfriend but doesn’t know how to prove it, the first thing you should do is go with your gut. No, you never should accuse someone of fooling around, but if you feel like things just aren’t right and you’re being disrespected by lack of communication or something else, you need to try and get to the bottom of things.

That’s easier said than done, though. But, because we think cheating is the most selfish and disrespectful thing a person can do, which can cause years of potential relationship worries, here are some signs to look for if you think you’ve got a cheating girlfriend.

She’s still talking to her ex

It may not necessarily be him that she’s cheating on you with, but if she’s still talking with him secretly or frequently, it’s a definite red flag that something may be going on. Sure, she can say all she wants to about how they’re still good friends, but if you’ve never met the guy, can you really trust what she’s saying? Don’t accuse or pry, but approach her by saying you have a problem with that relationship she has with him and see how she reacts. Hopefully, she’s OK with cutting things off with him for the health of your relationship.

A cheating girlfriend always plays the victim

One of the most overlooked things about a cheating girlfriend is that she’s emotionally unstable, which is why she’s incapable of holding down a relationship with you in the first place. That leads to insecurity and, more often than not, becoming defensive by nature anytime you might bring up issues in your relationship together. For instance, she may claim you’re the one being too flirty or shady about things, when, really, it’s just a form of her trying to avoid guilt for her own actions.

Extreme signs of affection

This one might be the oldest trick in the books, so don’t think you’re fooling anyone, cheating girlfriends out there. Experts have said that, when a person is cheating, that partner tends to make extreme signs of affection — like moving in with you after being hesitant at first or splurging on a weekend getaway together. Basically, it’s their attempt at trying to reinforce their feelings for you. However, be careful, because it’s sort of like being manic, where they get a momentary high, but the feelings aren’t authentic.

There’s a history of cheating

Believe it or not, but research has shown that cheating people are three times more likely to continue such a trend in future relationships. This is important, because, as mentioned above, if your gut’s giving you a feeling that something might be wrong with your relationship, it’s probably right. You don’t need to be on high alert and think something’s up if your girlfriend shows some common cheating signs, but if they become too regular, you’ve probably got a cheating girlfriend on your hands — especially if her past proves it.

She values others over you

This is something that happened in my previous relationship and, let me tell you, it’s a shock to the system. In my situation, my ex had said that she was refusing to introduce me to some of her friends on a kickball team because she didn’t think I had much in common with them. She defended them and their opinions of our relationship more than she tried to work on communication and trust issues together, which is a clear sign that she may have been more interested — or even cheating on me — with someone from the team. Turns out she started dating a guy from her kickball team just a month after the two of us broke up, go figure.