Dating is like the wild west these days, with online dating apps changing the way people meet and, more so, think about relationships. Gone are the days of only meeting someone at work, a bar or some other random place, where good conversation and a few signs were easy to figure out if someone was interested.
Since dating can be so difficult nowadays, it’s more common to go on bad dates, as people who use online dating apps are basically going into things completely blind — well, outside of a few pictures from the app profiles. And, when you’re stuck in a bad date, one thing that has probably crossed your mind is how to ditch the bad date and just cut your losses.
It’s not common to actually make such a move, though, as it can be considered rude or just straight-up dickish. But, hey, it’s your time, and if you just aren’t clicking with the person across from you, politely say you’re not feeling it, leave some money to cover the bill and get on out of there.
This is something I’d never think about doing, but, in the past couple weeks, I’ve heard stories of friends and some girls who were able to ditch a bad date the right way, which led me to writing about it. So here’s how to get out of dodge appropriately and not come across as a giant asshole.
Go in with a time constraint
You never want to just assume that a date’s going to be bad, but, if you’re picking up some signs before you two meet up, it’s not a terrible idea to mention that you could quickly meet for a drink or something, leaving you with an out if things turn out to be bad. For instance, if you’re meeting for Happy Hour at 5:30, maybe say you’ve got dinner plans with a friend at 7:15, so need to leave by 6:15. If things are going well, you can tell your date you’ll text your friend, but it also gives you an out should things go south.
Make sure to leave cash
Everyone might be carrying credit cards these days and ditching cash, but, when going on a first date where you don’t know how things might go, carrying some paper currency is the way to go. That’s because, if you’re ditching the bad date after an hour or so, you want to make sure you leave them some money to cover part of the bill. Sure, it’s a little odd for the guy to get up and leave, but some girls are so awful that it has to be done, so, at the very least, you’ll want to help with the small tab before walking out.
Invite a friend to crash
Look, this is a low move, but, hey, if you really don’t see yourself seeing your date ever again after that night, don’t fear for saving your reputation and being the nice guy. Instead, sneak off to the bathroom and text a buddy to come meet up, then, when you get back to the table, tell your date your friend’s nearby and was going to join. You can always go the surprise route, but, screw it, telling your date outright will give the sign that you’re probably not into her.
Say you’re sleepy or have to get up early
Whether this is true or not, it’s a perfect excuse for ditching a bad date. After a long day of work and all the other stuff going on in your life, when you’re bored and just unenthusiastic about a date, go with the old reliable excuse of saying you’re sleepy. First off, your date can’t get mad at you for it. Second, your date can take it as the truth or a sign that you’re not into her, giving you a clean out. If you’ve already suffered through a couple of hours with a bad date and have spent a bunch of money, saying you’re beat and/or need to get up early the next day is a polite excuse — and then you can cut off any communication moving forward.
When all else fails and you’re feeling bold, nothing’s wrong with straight-up telling your date that you’re just not feeling it. After all, honesty is always best, right? Hell, there might be a good chance your date feels the same, but doesn’t have the balls to pull the plug. Simply saying something like, “Hey, you seem nice, but I’m just not sure you’re what I’m looking for right now, so I’m going to call it a night.” It’s polite and doesn’t completely leave your date looking for answers as to why you’re ditching.