You would think dating an Asian girl would be the same as dating any other sort of girl. And you would be right. Of course, there are always some things that will be a little bit different. Here’s my guide on how to date an Asian girl without offending her or her family.
Let’s start off with the most important thing when it comes to dating an Asian girl. Rule one about dating Asian girls? We do not talk about the fact we are dating an Asian girl. That is to say, the subject Asian should not come up.
Too many guys these days fetishise Asian women. The whole “yellow fever” thing is ridiculous. I’m sure there’s a huge grain of truth to it, but if you’re dating an Asian girl, she’s not going to appreciate you talking about it in those terms.
We all have types. There’s no denying that. But when you seemingly only date a person of one race, it gets a bit creepy. The biggest concern for Asian women is that you like her not based on her individual merits, but because of her ethnicity.
How not to bring up the A word
Ways not to pick up an Asian girl you plan on dating would be:
Calling out to her in an Asian language. The number of times people have said to me “Ni hao ma?” expecting me to be impressed. Here’s the thing, I don’t speak Chinese. I’m not Chinese. It really puts me off thinking you assumed I was Chinese. So don’t try and speak to an Asian girl in an Asian language if you don’t know her ethnicity. If you do already know it, it could be kind of cute. But that depends on the girl and her reaction.
Don’t mention that you love Asian girls. It’s super weird. Replace Asian girl with a feature such as large breasts. Would you start dating a girl and tell her “Oh man I just love girls with large breasts”? No, you probably wouldn’t, because it sounds rude. Same with the Asian girl thing. If you’ve only ever dated Asian girls before, we might find it weird, but depending on how you treat us before that point, it’ll probably turn out OK.
When it comes to starting conversations, really don’t assume things she might be interested in if the only indication you have that she might like them are due to her race. By this, I mean, there are times when guys have tried talking to me about rice. Out of all the topics… why rice?
That one should be obvious. But something as innocent as saying “I love the film Spirited Away!” can also be offensive. Just because someone is asian, does not mean they like anime. Same goes for our interest in samurais or martial arts. Just don’t assume.
Things you should expect
There are some cultural differences you may experience when dating an Asian girl. Most of these won’t affect your relationship in a big way, but it’s good to have a little heads up.
Share food: This was a big culture shock for me, and when I started dating the number one reason a guy could put me off. Sharing food is a bit part of Asian culture. If you’re dating an Asian girl, expect her to want to try some of your food and vice versa.
Try new foods: Asian cuisine can be quite exotic to the uninitiated. Everything from dorian fruits that smell like garbage or tripe in your noodles. You don’t have to like any of these things, but you’ll get big brownie points for being willing to try them.
She’ll probably pose with the peace sign: Almost every Asian girl I know poses with the peace sign. It’s a genetic reflex at this point. She’ll also probably take photos of your food. Also some Asian girls have a habit of covering their mouths in photos. I’m not sure when this trend started, but it’s pretty big in the Asian community in the UK.
Be respectful to her parents: Now you’re probably thinking you should be respectful towards anyone’s parents. Which you should. But Asian parents have picked up this reputation of being super hard to please. The fact is, even if you were a millionaire doctor who moonlights as a Calvin Klein model… you might still not be their ideal. But you don’t have to be their ideal. You’re dating their daughter and they’ll accept you if you make her happy, treat her well and show them respect.