Remember when you were in middle or high school and thought that all sex would be similar to what a porno showed? Sure, it wasn’t going to include some busty babe who would be down for every single sex position, but, chances are, you absolutely believed that real sex was like porn sex prior to actually losing your virginity.
Unfortunately, regardless of how great all that wild sex in a porno looked, it could never be duplicated when you were actually taking part in it. And, as much as we all want to think we can make it that hardcore, it just wasn’t going to happen.
Sure, there are a few contributing factors as to why that’s the case, but here are just a few that haven’t made our sexual experiences quite like those porno flicks we watched growing up. Sorry, fellas, the facts are the facts.
The Flawlessness
When sex involves two, in shape and attractive people, it’s usually pretty damn sexy. But, when sex involves two, not-so in shape and semi-attractive people, it’s not quite as hot — that’s just the truth.
Sure, you’re not out there performing for the cameras or for anyone else to watch, but porn sex usually matches up the blonde with the perfect boobs and a guy rocking a hog and a six-pack, but that’s not typically what normal people get when they’re doing it.
Real sex usually has a lot more sweat, definitely more hair and a hell of a lot more awkward moments than what’s shown on camera, which is what’s normal.
The Moaning
While there are plenty of girls who love to scream your name and make it sound like she’s on the brink of an orgasm — and we thank them for that — it’s never quite the same as in a porno. When watching those old school porn flicks growing up, we were convinced that every single girl was just as loud, enjoying absolutely everything we did as if we real were Peter North in training — which would be F’in amazing. As we’ve gotten older (and more experienced) in the sack, though, we’ve learned that a girl’s scream meter and dirty talk isn’t always as organic as we thought.
The Two-Pump Chump
Here’s a little hint fellas: don’t worry about the fact that you can’t last longer than a few minutes, it’s completely normal. Premature ejaculation sucks, but, unlike in pornos — where guys seem to hold out for 30 minutes or so — most dudes are experiencing something similar.
While guys do everything possible to last longer, like thinking about food, desks or anything else to distract our minds, there’s nothing to be ashamed of when busting a little too soon. That said, unlike in porn, you need to make sure you’ve at least got the stamina to get your lady off in other ways. If you do that, she’ll be really happy with how things went down.
The Cheesy Scripts
No matter how conservative you are when it comes to sex, most guys are into the whole role playing things, where a girl dresses up as naughty nurse or teacher and acts all sexy. During special occasions, that may happen. Unfortunately, the truth is, it rarely happens in real sex.
In pornos, girls are paid to go with some theme or script, so the role playing is what the storyline is all about. But, normal girls rarely have the energy to go full-throttle on the kitchen table after a long day of work like you’d see in a film. It sucks, but real sex isn’t quite as fun as porn sex when it comes to all those dirty fantasies we think up in our heads.
The Emotion
We’d all like to think that normal sex is all about plowing a girl without any emotion at all. But, in a weird way, that’s an illusion created from watching a bunch of porn, where a guy can just randomly screw a girl who’s bored after her boyfriend left town for the week. While cheating and all that stuff happens in real life, too, it’s not nearly like the plot of a porno.
Yeah, there are times when two people get drunk and just want to bang it out and it’s clearly a one-night stand. But, more times than not, sex between two normal people has some sort of emotional connection — which is part of the reason it’s so hot in the first place.
The Big O
Let’s get this straight: every guy’s main objective during sex should be to take care of the girl’s needs first. It should be a badge of honor, where she leaves bragging about how filthy you were and how wet you got her. But, hey, it’s common sense to think that dudes will get lazy and leave his lady wanting more after he came but she didn’t. It happens, no big deal.
However, pornos often make us think that a girl orgasms every single time she has sex — which is far from the truth. As mentioned earlier, pornos show ladies screaming and morning louder than ever, always appearing as if they’re on the verge of cumming. Sorry to break it to you, guys, but a lot of that is just acting. Your girl may pull something similar, but, hopefully, you know what you’re doing while between her legs and she actually reaches the point of the Big O thanks to your skills.