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Texting a girl you’re actually interested in can be harder than it first seems. Sure, it’s just some words and doesn’t really involved much work, but, what makes it difficult, is the fact that you need to be flirty and not boring — which, if that happens, can be a total turn-off for her.

With everyone relying so much on technology and not actually talking face-to-face, though, the ability to charm a girl through text can be a major difference between scoring a date and (maybe) a relationship, and being turned down. And, just like you need to be charming and witty and witty when using online dating apps, so, too, should be the strategy when texting a girl.

For instance, imagine texting a girl to make small talk. Assuming she’s not giving you much back in terms of a response, think about what can you do to make her feel a bit more engaged. Some tricks could be asking her specific questions about what she has planned for the upcoming weekend, or, really break the ice, and ask her something even more direct — like pizza, Thai or tacos — and, when she (hopefully) replies, make her laugh by telling her she just picked your dinner tonight.

Since texting a girl to keep her engaged and interested in truly a skill, we’re giving you some tips to follow in order to see more responses and, hopefully, land more dates. So take a look below and see how your words can win her over.

Don’t assume that texting a girl is going to make it or break it

While we can sit here and tell you how and why texting a girl is so important, let’s be clear here, things won’t end because you’re a bad texter — and, if they do, why would you want to be with that girl anyway? If you have this feeling that she’s dissecting every single word you send, you’re already losing half of the battle, because that’s not the case at all, and it means you’re too worried about how you’re presenting yourself.

Outside of taking a deep breath and maybe a chill pill, texting a girl should be your chance to get to know one another outside of physically meeting up.

Unlike our parents did back decades ago, texting a girl can be like a pseudo first date, where you talk about interests and all that stuff. For girls you already know and have gone on a few dates with, it’s important to remember that, when you’ve got each other’s attention, it’s time to keep texting. Too often, people ignore texts from girls as if it’s they’re parents, waiting to reply longer than they should.

Gauge the situation, though, and go with what you think works best given your time.

Texting a girl should give her a little better idea about who you are

As mentioned above, texting a girl shouldn’t be something that stresses you out, but, instead, something that helps you stand out. For instance, imagine taking a conversation with a girl you matched with on an online dating app to text; you have to imagine you’re one of a few guys who may have landed her digits. Don’t you want to help yourself stand out?

Avoid being too clingy or pushy, but don’t be afraid of flirting as if you already know the girl well. Not only will this help separate you from the rest of the pack, but it’ll make her laugh — which is always one of the most important traits a girl looks for in a guy.

Lastly, ask questions! We can’t tell you how often guys talk too much about themselves or are short in their responses during texts. You don’t need to give her a novel and share everything, but give her something more than a “nope” and “yeah, i think that’s cool, too.”

Remember, she may not be comfortable texting

Now this is something every single guy really needs to remember, because a lot of girls just aren’t comfortable with texting unless it’s with their girlfriends — so don’t be fooled by the fact that they’re always on their phone doing it.

You’re supposed to be the alpha in the relationship, generally speaking, so take charge and show confidence to make her feel comfortable while texting one another, making it fun, playful and engaging. Rather than asking her how her day was, go in with something like, “name the best thing that happened to you today.” That’ll definitely pique her interest, get her feeling good and lead to a good conversation.

Another factor in why some girls are uncomfortable texting is because guys are bad communicating through text, which leaves them feeling inferior when replying. Again, make it easy for her and have fun, without over-thinking the situation or being too hard on yourself. It’s just a conversation, guys, even if it isn’t face-to-face.

Texting a girl shouldn’t just be copy-paste, but something unique instead

Want to know the best way to turn a girl off? Simply copy/pasting the exact same things over and over. Don’t think you’re fooling anyone, fellas, because she can read right through your, “hey, hope the day was great, up to anything tonight?” texts.

Rather than fall into the lazy habit of firing off the same text to multiple girls, focus on whom you really want to talk with. Remember, it’s your time you’re spending, so why would you want to waste it with a bunch of random girls? Hopefully, you don’t want that, and would instead want to focus on quality and not quantity.

Texting a girl takes thought, otherwise she’ll lose interest because she’ll think you’re being general and not personal with her. And, until she gives the OK, never go all-in with overly sexual texts, because that’s a great way to never hear from her again.

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